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9.24.2010

QUEEN DI AND THE INVISIBLES

In the trio of sisters we all hold our own offices.  Evidently they are fairly visible to the outside world also.  At my paternal grandfather's viewing some 15 or more years ago, I arrived a bit later than my other two sisters due to my work schedule.  Looking back, I'm grateful that I was not able to get there any earlier.  Before I arrived my father (who's father had passed) was introducing my two older sisters to some of his business associates.  I am told it went something akin to this; "I'd like you to meet my oldest daughter, the smart one.  And this, this one is my middle daughter, the beautiful one."  My sisters together and then separately over the years have recounted that story to me with a touch of anger and feeling hurt for being type cast - each wanting the others definitions.  The one who was called "beautiful" felt like she was only worth her beauty.  And, the other sister who was called "smart" felt unlovely.  I continue to tell them all these years later that it was probably a good thing I wasn't there for the introductions because I don't know what descriptive labelling term my father would have used for me - "sassy" or "tomboy" or possibly "the bold one".  There is an 18 month age difference between each of us sisters.  So, life events in high school were all kind of together in a way - dating, driving, etc...  My oldest sister and I look more alike than does our middle sister, Di, "the beautiful one".  I thought about how my dad introduced my two sisters.  Di is sort of exotic looking with olive skin, dark hair, large breasts and this air of regalness to her - like she came from royalty, not the farm we grew up on.  In fact so different looking than Anne and I that we used to tease her till she cried that she was really adopted - had her convinced a time or two that she really was!  As teenagers we would be walking down the street or in a store together and instantly you could see the eyes of every man go to Di.  Anne and I were virtually invisible and consciously aware of it.  Di usually had two different dates every weekend.  It seemed that boys, then teenagers, and eventually grown men found her absolutely beautiful - like this universal definition of beauty.  Both of my sisters were 4-H fair queen contestants and homecoming attendants in high school and college.  Me, on the other hand - never nominated for a contest of beauty in my life.  Recently my two sisters and I went away for the weekend.  We are all in our mid to upper forties.  Walking down the street side by side I began to notice something again resplendent from our youth - every man was looking at Di.  She was sporting a tan, highlighted by a very low cut black tank top, and things were well, more than amply displayed.  There was this queen like aura around her in the way she carried herself.  It was Queen Di and the invisibles walking together once again now just 30 years older!  In an attempt to make me more "visible", my sisters suggested a lower cut top for me and possibly breast implants:)  I don't know what makes beauty so subjective.  There were times growing up where that beauty invisibility factor caused some doubts about loving my own looks.  But I learned to be more than just ok with who I was.  Our father, whether from personality or era, never really told any of his three daughters they were beautiful ever until that day in the funeral home - when he told one of them that's what defined her. As I've aged I've actually gotten more comfortable with my own style of beautifulness  -whatever that is!  Beauty is subjective to the eye of the beholder...and, that is quite wonderful.  Really I don't feel invisible at all.  Invincible yes, invisible no.

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