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10.19.2010

THE KEYS TO LIFE

As I sat to write this tonight, I took a good hard look at myself.  I am alot of things.  Just today someone added "scrappy" to the list of descriptions of Lynn that range from free, purposeful, simple, real, determined, irreverent, intelligent (this one may now be in question in this blog), funny, compassionate, quick, natural, open.  The fact that I have "key" issues is both alarming based on my personality and well, totally blows my image to mankind:)  I do not mean I have "issues" in my life that are big, but that I literally have trouble with keys, the inanimate object that unlock doors and locks.  I can't figure it out about myself though I have tried at least once, maybe twice:)  Now as I am aging I am getting worried about my key problem as it must run in my family.  My grandmother before her death, declining mentality from Alzheimer's, became obsessed with locking doors and keys.  Oh no!!!!  My history of key issues runs down like this.  When married and on my honeymoon twice I locked the keys in the car while in the Smokey Mountains.  Twice in a 4 day period.  Thankfully it was 25 years ago and cars were still able to be easily broke into with either a hanger or a call to the police who would come and break into for you - no charge.   I locked myself out of the house many times over the years at different houses we lived in when I would leave to run, lock the door behind me and get back from the miles without a way in - that is until I began just leaving a key outside where I could always find it.  When I was a realtor it happened at listing or showing appointments multiple times.  Once while at a listing appointment early one Saturday morning with a dear sweet older lady who lived on a lake, I went to leave and realized my keys were in the ignition and my cell phone on the passenger seat.  I was meeting some buyers immediately after that appointment and all their cell phone information was locked in my car.  Unable was I to call them and tell them I would be significantly late.  On that particular day I couldn't bear to call my then husband out of a meeting so I called a locksmith - ouch!!  Another time while showing bank repossessed houses to a young couple I locked my keys in the car once again.  I had to call my husband to drive to where I was and unlock my car.  Most recently just after my husband and I separated, filed for divorce and he moved out, I went for a run.  I got back and realized the key I normally slip in my pocket was laying inside on the dining table.  Now mind you I gave a key to my sister.  She was nowhere to be found.  I thought about every way imaginable to get inside my house to no avail.  My only option was to call my recently moved out soon to be ex-spouse to drive over and let me in.  Oh, it was a tough call to make.  Here I was on my own now and he was the one I was forced to call.  Just a couple of Sundays ago while waiting the arrival of my sister and her husband for Sunday dinner, I decided to clip off 10 miles on my bike.  I confidently rolled back in to the driveway, sashayed to my front door where one turn of the screen door reminded me that I had locked it from the inside and exited through the garage where I got my bike and ran out while the garage door was shutting.  I had absolutely no way back in the house.  Walking around my house I tried every window.  But my windows, even though open, had the safety locks on and would only open about 4 inches.  As I came back around the front of my house I could tell my bedroom window lock was off.  I popped the screen off and shoved the window up.  I stood there relived I had found a way in, but troubled as to how to hoist my 44 year butt and body up through that window.  I tried several times, no doubt to the neighbors delight if they happened to be watching.  Finally I gave up and waited on my sister and brother-in-law to get there.  When they got there I confessed what I had done and that I needed my sister to shove me through the window.  I climbed up as far as I could and then told her to get under my butt and push.  She did, a bit harder than I had anticipated.  I went diving head first into the bedroom with flip flops flying off.   We laughed at what that actually looked like from the street.  Every night now when I get ready to run I do my pilot ready for take off check list; Kleenex, sports bra:), shoelaces double knotted, cell phone on my waist, aging body stretched, key either in pocket-bra-or tied to my string of my sweatpants.  Door locked and clear to run.

1 comment:

  1. Aahhh I see now...I was sitting like "The Thinker" wondering why the sports bra...you needed a place for the key...it all makes sense now. Seriously, I feel you prolly should go to the baby section in Target and get one of those pacifier clips, cept you would place your key where the pacie goes and clip that bad boy to your tan, white or black freshly ironed crisp shirt. Just tryin' to be a blessing :))

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