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10.18.2010

RUNNING ON LOW THEN QUICKLY

There are times in our lives when the uncomfortableness or pain is so wide spread it is almost funny.  Almost.   In the summer of 2009 with a myriad of circumstances that were causing my life to be upside down I found myself 43 years old driving back across the country from a job that did not work out, a house still unsold, a daughter less than a month away from getting married, a marriage that was in the fast lane of failing, and the prospect of bunking at my parents house till I figured out what to do next.  For three months I could not find a job, struggled with a marriage held together by toothpicks and lived under the microscope of my parents in their home adapting to their way of life as best I could.  I felt a bit lost during those months wandering to the beach as often as possible, hanging out with my sisters and nieces on a regular basis and trying to fit back into a world that I had been absent from for nearly 25 years.  It was a friend I had gone to high school with that mentioned to my brother-in-law that he heard I was back in the area and was I looking for a job.  The next week I went to see him and we caught up from 25 years of being out of contact, laughing and sharing about our lives and families.  He was the catalyst to connect me with the person who hired me. It was late summer and I was starting my new job in a just a couple of weeks.  I noticed running in those weeks before starting this new job that I was struggling to breathe.  Oh well I was 43 and it was summer and I was running.  Then I noticed to climb the stairs to my old bedroom where I was staying at my parents my chest would burn till I thought my lungs were going to explode. I mean I was tired and achy, but I tend to push through most things past what most people probably would. The final straw was when starting to cry over the many things askew in my life at the time I felt such searing pain and inability to get enough oxygen in me I thought I would pass out.  My doctor confirmed pneumonia in both lungs.  I am desperate to get well quick.  Explaining what was happening in my life with starting a new job in a couple of days I can see the look on the doctor's face.  She agrees to pull out the big guns - you know bend over pull the pants down power shot and the newest strongest most expensive antibiotic out in an attempt to enable me to start this job in a few days.  Antibiotics in that massive of dose in me were not a good match at all.  By the time I had 2 full days of them surging through my system it was time for day one of a new job.  The night before opening day of this job, it hit - massive intestinal antibiotic reaction that was other worldly!  I'm thinking can this get any worse.  The next morning my reaction to the antibiotic is well now soaring completely out of control and I am panicking.  How do I call a brand new employer to say that I have massive uncontrollable diarrhea?  I can't do it.  There is no medicine in the house to stop the onslaught - to stop the leak in the dam:)  It is a 30 minute drive from my parents to my job.  Looking for a 24 hour pharmacy between their house and work I find nothing open except a gas station that I have to stop at to use the bathroom.  As I am fleeing the vehicle for the bathroom I am praying that there will be pepto bismol, anything in that gas station that might help.  I find single packets of pepto bismol tablets by the cash register and I buy six individual packets and leave.  On the remainder of the drive there I eat as many as I can stomach.  Ugh, the chalky horrific don't-leave-your mouth-taste about makes me sick but I chomp away.  I am desperate at this point.  When I arrive at my new job, I am rattled, running a temperature, feeling like crap (ha) and having no clue how I will make it through a regular day, let alone a first day of anything.  Once at my new office I realize the only bathroom is right outside of my boss's office.  Oh my word - what in the world would he think of me being in the bathroom 4,000 times in one day!   After fleeing to the bathroom at least a half dozen times in a span of an hour or so I finally confess to the other woman in the office.  I mean she was either going to be fast friends with me or think I was off my rocker.  I explain that I was having a reaction to 2 antibiotics for pneumonia and the diarrhea issue.  Making light of how horrible I felt I cracked a couple of jokes about diarrhea with her.  We instantly bonded:)  Just this week I shared with my boss the story of my first day with him.  He died laughing as I told him of being really sick that day and running to the bathroom 8 million times that day and did he not notice how often I was in and out of it.  I mean how could he not have noticed it was right by his office.  He didn't miss a beat, "How could I notice your trouble as I was too busy laying under my desk bawling from the stress of starting a business and hiring my first employee!"  He asked me why I hadn't just called to tell him I was ill and would have to postpone my first day.   I said there is a relationship length protocol before you say the word diarrhea let alone describe your physical problem to a new employer.  We had not known each other long enough then, but now, well I told him the story with not one flick of uncomfortableness. 

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