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12.05.2010

LYNN'S REALITY SHOW

One of my friends always says that stuff happens to me that doesn't happen to other people.  I don't know if that's true.  Stuff does happen to me and I don't know why, but I find it highly entertaining.  Because it was Saturday, I had errands to run.  I stopped at the bank my daughter works at to say hello.  She works the drive through on Saturdays as that's the only part of the bank open.  So, in order to talk to her I have to go through her drive up window.  We banter back and forth through the microphone till a car pulls behind me for a legitimate banking transaction.  I pulled all the way around the bank and got back in the drive up lane behind the car.  I waited my turn and then pulled back up to my daughter's window and we continued the conversation.  About 4 times I have to pull around the bank and go to the back of the line as cars back up behind me in line with actual money needs.  We both laughed at the absurd way we are carrying on a conversation much to the delight of her co-workers inside the bank who can hear every word of both sides of our conversation.  I failed though to get a bank sucker from her when I drove away for the last time.  Leaving the bank I stopped at Salvation Army, the thrift store.  I was looking in particular for a pair of tan pants.  Once again, the I-must-be-part-Jewish in me finds a great pair of Banana Republic pants in my size (it's a gamble there as to whether you will find anything or not - much like playing the slot machines in Vegas!).  They are marked $2.50 - a steal:)  I also run across a great pair of cream colored high heeled mules that appear never to have been worn.  They are marked $2.50.   I take my $5.00 purchase to the counter with a five dollar bill in my hand.  Ready I am to pay five dollars for two items:)  The clerk says, "That will be $1.61."   I looked at her and started laughing out loud which she doesn't quite know what to do with.  I asked her, "Really, $1.61?"  "Yes," she says, "The shoes are 50 cents and the pants are $1.00".  I hand her the money and laugh as I walk to the car knowing that my dear friend Big D will ridicule me while laughing hysterically that I have a great pair of pants and shoes for $1.61.  And she did later that day when she picked me up for dinner.  After I leave with my $1.61 purchase of a lifetime, I headed to the grocery store.  Because it's Saturday the store is crowded with people.  I gathered the few things I needed and like a lab rat, navigated and inched my way in the long line closer and closer to the check out belt.  Standing behind me is a younger couple with a new born in a car infant seat.  They seem fairly normal and well adjusted and I watch them converse with each other with ease and familiarity.  Suddenly a man walks up to me in line carrying only 2 or 3 items.  I think he is getting ready to ask if I would mind letting him ahead of me.  I have no trouble letting people with only a couple of things ahead of me.  He stops and quickly and quietly says, "Do you want to go on a date with me?"  I thought since he spoke fast and soft that I didn't hear him correctly.  I repeated it back to him, "Are you asking me if I want to go out with you?"  He looks directly at me again and smiles with what appeared to be a bit of craziness in his eyes and wildness splashed across his face, "Yes", he says.  I don't hesitate one iota in my response to the crazy date asking grocery store man, "No" I say emphasis on the no spoken clearly and somewhat incredulously.  It appeared to not faze him much as he just continued to smile this very strange smile, turned and walked to the back of the line.  I looked up while still in line and saw him still gazing at me with the same look he left me with.  My amazing $1.61 two clothing item purchase, Indy racing through the bank drive through for conversation through the teller window with my daughter and, being asked out in the grocery store by a crazy man all in a Saturday morning errand run.  Wonder what I can experience next Saturday?     

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