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12.07.2010

WHERE TO GO FROM HERE

Ever feel a bit lost.   I mean maybe things in your life that brought joy and meaning have lost their luster, their magic.  Picking up a book isn't as exciting as it once was and well, I just haven't picked one up in the past few days.  It reminds me of here, this place I am in.  Music that moves my soul and makes my spirit soar has not been turned on in the past couple of days.  Its sounds remind of here, this place I am in.  I didn't run last night either - it reminded me of here, this place I'm in.  I didn't write a post yesterday.  All words reminded me of this place I am in.  I touched the dictionary with fondness, but couldn't bear to open it as it just was too hard because of this place I am in.  The thoughts that I cannot empty from my head.  The measure of completeness in my soul.  The connection of spirit - all less than capacity because of this place I am in - here.  Tonight when I ran, I chose not to look at the sky.  I could not bear to see the moon as it too reminded me of this place I am in.  My normal relentless self even reminds me of this place I'm in - I just don't feel like being relentless right now.  The sparkle in my eyes, the speeding thoughts in my head, the fullness of my heart, the connection of my soul are just dim right now, at this place I am in.  Where to do I go from here?  This place of here was where I covered the depths in one breath and rose to the surface in the next breath with ease and laughter.  I don't really want to leave to leave this place I am in, this here. But it's just not the same as it used to be.  The colors aren't nearly as vibrant, the smells not nearly as scented and the sounds have all grown silent.  Where do I go from here?  God, where do I go from here? 

1 comment:

  1. "Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime and falling in at night.
    I miss you like hell." ~Edna St Vincent Millay

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