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1.18.2011

A LATE BLOOMER

Someone told me recently, "You must have had guys chasing you in high school as you are beautiful."  I laughed and stated, "No!  My sister Diane, yes.  Me, no.  I was a very late bloomer."   In fact, to be honest, I bloomed probably around age 29-30.  You know of my late physical development from my blog of my bust size in 7th grade at 27 inches.  I really wasn't beautiful in high school, didn't have a full sense of who I was (although I doubt any teenager really does) and did not fully come into my own style until I was an adult.  It took me some years to get my stride down.  Age does not bother me in many ways.  I love the fact that as I have aged I have gotten somewhat better looking (ok that is subjective but compared to 10th grade - YES!), more confident in who I am and what I bring to the world I am in-to those I love-to what I put my hand to, at how I view life and others, how I see God differently from a view of grace and love.  I was not the girl who was ever nominated for homecoming queen (that would again be my sister Diane and possibly Jeanne too).  I was not the girl who had a date every weekend (that would most definitely have been my sister Diane).  I was a tomboy growing up and, in some regards, even though I am all woman, still am simple and unadorned without many accessories or much make-up.  I am more comfortable in a pair of jeans than a dress and, too much time in front of a mirror gets on my nerves:)  I thought about that this week in light of what that person commented to me about my appearance.  It may have been a good thing I blossomed late in life.  It caused me to concentrate on thinking and developing the inner Lynn which contributed to making me strong, free spirited and confident.  I also lived in a marriage where rarely in twenty-five years did I hear the affirmation of "you're beautiful".  Once again for those years I had to foster other things in my life.  I've heard those words "you're beautiful" in recent years from different people in my life and, at times, total strangers.  But, most recently I have been hearing it a great deal.  It at first seemed foreign to my ears.  Unbelievable that someone would really see me in that way.  That they would see with their eyes what is beautiful to them and then express it.  I suppose in large ways I see my physical appearance second to how I see my mind and spirit and, combined with being a late bloomer and not hearing physical affirmations for so many years, it totally amazes me to hear such words of "you're absolutely stunningly beautiful".  That person who said that to me also said they wanted to keep saying it till I believed them.  There is still some lingering unbelief:)

2 comments:

  1. May your lingering unbelief be like a static-y dryer sheet stuck to the seat of your pants...unfelt and unseen by you, but evident only to the person who loves you so they keep saying it always. :)

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  2. yeah...that what she said...

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