Pages

1.25.2011

SWEATPANTS

Let's be clear on one thing, my opinions are not necessarily endorsed by those of blogspot.com.  In fact, my views and opinions probably aren't endorsed, backed or supported by the majority period.  And in this case, not by the majority of sweatpant loving wearing people who roam the earth.  I take a bit of an issue with sweatpants.  I don't really like them:)  Oh, don't get me wrong, I wear them to run in and the occasional lounge wear inside my home when comfort trumps fashion or I am hiding, relaxing or frigidly cold.  Some years ago a phenomena took place in the world of sweatpants.  No, no it wasn't the breakaway sweatpants for professional basketball players.  No, it wasn't the onslaught of yoga pants that could double as palooza pants and were typically donned by middle aged gray haired mother earth women.  It was the word emblazoned across the butt sweat pant hysteria that swept the nation.  Now I realize I am a middle aged woman, and my goal is not necessarily to advertise my posterior (I'm merely trying to keep mine from falling into the ocean depths) to the known world.  I do not want  bright yellow or pink words such as "HOTTIE", "IN MOTION", "SEXY", or my all time favorite, "YOU COULD ADVERTISE HERE" anywhere near my hiney.  This trend of butt printing was single handedly the greatest marketing ploy ever created to increase sweatpant sales and revive a dying screen printing industry in the continental US (I heard that in a game show once).  There are several more reasons why I hate sweatpants.  They scream a loud message (much like a dog whistle to dogs) that says, "I am either too fat to fit into regular pants or wearing pull up pants saves time that I can more fully contribute to society as a whole.":)  When I was young there was not a lot of choices in style or color within the sweatpant family.  It seems there was gym issued gray, a strange sort of navy blue and basic black.  Color and fashion have collided with sweatpants these days.  I especially like (sarcastic if you can't tell) those sweat suit outfits that women in their 70's wear - a bit of velour, glitter, and embroidery of a butterfly showcased against a bright Florida flamingo color.   Yet another frightening display of sweatpants comes from men whose better body days are behind them.  And, so is their crack which shows slightly as the gray "Hanes" sweats hang precariously low below their bellies.  While in Hawaii a few years back we were driving through the center of the Big Island to Kona.  We stopped at a park and sitting at a picnic bench were park workers taking a break.  Facing the car was the rear end of a large Samoan man with sweatpants on.  Ok, well they were partly on anyways!   I couldn't stop laughing and actually snapped a picture after I zoomed in on the crack and flesh that poured out of the sweatpants.   I haven't scrap booked that picture yet!   So for all you sweat pant wearing folk out there, I salute you for your contribution and desire for a zipperless world where elastic rules.

1 comment:

  1. Shauna and I have countless conversations on the laziness of America- on the downright refusal to put on some jeans and comb your hair before you go grocery shopping or errand running- sweats are for gyms and your living room couch... NOT the public arena. If I have to see you out in public can you please at least look somewhat pleasing to the eye? Because the sweats aren't helping your cause.

    :))

    ReplyDelete