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3.07.2011

BIG BOOBS AND BLING

I have a theory.  Really I have many.  This one makes a direct connection to large breasts, low tops and big blingy jewelry.  Even though maybe there are no documented studies at Boston University or the National Institute for Health regarding my theory, there is a strong indication of the tie between cleavage displays and large necklaces.  If you know me, or read what I write, then you know I possess neither large breasts that can produce mountains of cleavage, nor do I own large flashy bevies of jewelery.  Two cases in point; my best friend, Big D, and a waitress at one of my favorite restaurants who calls me Jodie Foster constantly.  Both are beautiful woman. Both dress well and always have hair, clothes and makeup that is styling.  They are put together well (unlike me who might just prefer a ball cap and a pair of jeans to being dressed up!)  Sitting in my favorite restaurant over the weekend with my love and a group of friends, the waitress (who calls me Jodie) pulls up a chair to visit.  She is charismatic and endearing.  And, she is wearing a very low top with mountains of fleshy boobs mounding out.  I'm not sure you could have flossed between her breasts:)  Highlighting her "ode to the rocky mountains" chest was a very large (did I say VERY LARGE!) silver medallion.  Now I'm not here to say it was an ugly necklace.  Quite the contrary - it was actually quite beautiful.  But it was hard to really focus on it for long as I felt more like it was a "GIRLS BELOW" flashing neon sign highlighting the path for my eyes to travel to see the abundant mountain range.  Of course I looked - how could you not!!  In order to not look one would have had to actually turn to the left or right of her which would have been, well rude and obvious:)   I'm not sure how jewelry companies market certain lines of jewelry, but I think I have a brilliant idea.  Since it appears that cleavage bearing woman who love to showcase what they have also love big bling that highlights the path below, why not market to that group of people - a sort of "Mountain Marker" line of cleavage pointing necklaces.   Ok, wait I'm going to trademark that!

2 comments:

  1. unless they are fake ladies with x-large boobs are often a little larger all over also. as a result sometimes we try to overcompensate with big bling as you put it to make ourselves feel prettier, and not insecure about our size. since you're not bossomly blessed you probably don't know that it's almost impossible to find a shirt that doesn't show cleavage if you do have big boobs unless it's a t-shirt or has a neckline that hits that high. hate to say but i think your theory is a bit off, at least for those i know that are in this prediciment. don't be a hater - just be glad you can get-away with wearing cute little tank tops, we'd look like hookers.

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  2. i'd be interested in you writing a blog on your take on girls with small boobs that wear big bling....lol!
    -lightening bug

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