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4.01.2011

I'D MUCH RATHER

I'd much rather eat a whole box of raisins than shop.  That's a pretty brazen statement as I hate raisins with a deep and abiding repugnance.  Pretty much all of my food hating is heaped upon this one food.   You will never find raisins in my house.  Let me rephrase, remarriage has caused raisins to enter into a cupboard and his bowl of oatmeal, but NOT mine:)  I don't have a love affair with big hairy tarantulas either - petrified of them to be explicitly clear.  But, I would let someone place a tarantula on my hand instead of shop.  I would also rather pluck my eyebrows and have my bikini area waxed than shop.  I had to shop for curtains for my living room recently.  It was unavoidable and extremely painful.  For me, it is comparable to what I imagine it would be like for a non-runner to have to run 5 miles - agony!  I went looking for curtains or blinds for my dining room and living room after repainting both.  I took with me a pillow off my couch to try to match something to the leaf pattern on it, and the color swatch dubbed Beach  (who names those colors and how do I get that gig!) by the paint company.  After going in five stores I was exhausted, and not any closer to curtains, shades, blinds or even my last resort of contact paper, than when I left home.  Standing in store number five I was contemplating heading for home.  Perusing the aisles in the last store I bumped into a couple of people I knew.  I am clutching my leaf pillow, a look of anger/frustration/hatred for all stores etched deeply into my brow and my shoulders bunched up from stress!  They ask what I am doing carrying the pillow and I share my curtain/paint saga with them and tell them I am quitting and going home - enough I tell them.  Sarcastically I declare my master plan to them of just taping brown mailing paper up to my windows if all else fails.  They giggle and urge me on in my quest, holding out a cup of water at mile 23:)  Trudging back out to the car I am rallied by their encouragement and stop at one last store.  I tell myself that I would rather shovel 8 more ton of landscaping rock around my house than shop.  I would rather wait impatiently in a doctor's waiting room, raging inwardly at his inconsiderateness of my time, than shop for curtains.  As I close the car door and walk into the last store, I tell myself that I would actually rather streak naked down my street than continue shopping.  Thankfully I don't have to streak naked - curtains found!  I am done shopping until the next time I absolutely positively need something.  How long can you drink expired milk again?

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