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4.10.2011

THE WARMTH OF SPRING

Sitting in the sun on the first hot, warm winded day of spring, I feel warmth clear through to my soul.  It has been a long winter season in my life.  Long.  I soak in the sun as though it's the first time I've ever felt something so warm. Yesterday, while my husband of two and half months was in a board meeting at a conference we had travelled to, I wandered in and out of stores waiting for him to join me later for dinner.  How strange it was to be in this town with him.  As I picked up a candle to see if "sea breeze" really smelled like sea breeze, I thought about how different from the first half of my life this is.  I loved it and it felt natural, yet strange too.  Laying in the hotel bed this morning I watched as he moved about the room readying for the day and the conference he had planned.  He moved confidently and effortlessly around the room, loading files on his i-pad, getting dressed in his blue dress shirt, tying his tie.  I watched him style his beautiful silver hair in a professional messy sort of way that I love.  As I laid there he came over to the bed where I was still snuggled under the crisp, white sheets.  He kissed me several times and told me how much he loved me, lingering as long as he could.  I felt warm dance across my soul.  After he left, I felt Spring running through me again.  I wasn't accustomed to this confidence and self sufficiency by a mate.  It refreshed and washed away the winter residue from a lifetime.  I pulled myself from bed and got ready, stopping at his meeting to be introduced to a few of his colleagues.  I whispered to him I was going to get a cup of good coffee - hazelnut at Panera.  He squeezed my hand and his fingers lingered on mine.  "Would I get him a cup of dark roast?" he asked.  I returned shortly with coffee for both of us.  As I gave him the coffee, his eyes stopped on mine and for a moment I saw and felt all he was saying in that room of people.  He had again warmed the winter out of my life.  I moved outside in the sun, enjoying the rarity of a 85 degree day in the Midwest in April.  As I sat there he texted his love to me and laughter at my texts back.  Sun splashed the dark corners of my soul.  I thanked God once again, tears spilling out of my eyes.  Grateful for Spring in all ways.  He says his desire is to spend the rest of his life taking away the memory and effects of the winters of my life.  And he does too - daily.

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