When I was a senior in high school my grandparents lived on a lake.  Being the lover of sun and nature that I am that spring of my senior year was tough.  First because I was ready to be done with high school, you know ready to move on to different things in life.  And second, I had spring fever horribly.  I still struggle with that same ailment in my mid forties - wanting to be outside to enjoy sun and warmth.  I signed myself out of school on that warm sunny day feigning illness, and drove myself to my grandparents lake.  Showing up in the middle of the day my grandmother had to have known I skipped school.  She said nothing but hugged me, almost silently acknowledging that my desire for sun and nature was bigger than me that day.  She made me lunch before I took the boat out to just float around the lake - thoroughly enjoying my roaming thoughts, the sunburn I was getting and being in nature.   This past Sunday was Mother's Day and after 6 days of being separated from my husband due to a business trip -having not been apart since the day we met, I was looking forward to his return.  Picking him from the airport I ran to him the moment he came into my line of vision.  I wouldn't let loose either as I found myself crying both from being reunited and an overwhelming sense of deep love for him - fully feeling the gift of Doug that he is to me.  Deciding we both needed to enjoy the sun, sand and some waves, and each other without interruptions , we drove to my favorite beach.  Mother's Day is not a big beach day in the Midwest.  Most are taking mom out to eat and the weather isn't usually beach hot.  The beach was sparsely populated with people who were fully clothed on this sunny, breezy and cool day.  Not us.  As we found a tucked away spot between two small hills of sand, we set up our beach chairs and willed ourselves to take off our shirts to get some sun.  There is nothing that I can compare the sensation to of sitting in the sun, watching the waves.  Nothing.  We did just that.  We sat, shivered when the sun dipped behind a cloud, ate a turkey sandwich, held hands, laughed, talked and just were.  The day before Doug was trying to articulate in a different way the bigness of his love for me.  Words limit our feelings sometimes.  He said, "Lynn, I love you as much as the grains of sand on the beach.  I have so much love for you I cannot count it or measure it fully."  Sitting on the beach he pinched a bit of sand in his fingers and began to drop it into his palm as he now showed me his verbal illustration from the day before.  That's part of the lure of the sand, sun and the waves.  It is somewhat immeasurable.  Knowing there are things in our universe that are bigger than us, immeasurable, surprisingly is actually comforting, freeing and gives us the ability to just get lost in it.  Many weekends while I was single I would find my way to the beach.  There was a certain comfort and peace in the sun, sand and waves.  A certain knowledge that something bigger than me was there and at work.  There is a rhythm in nature that I have needed all my life.  I found it again sitting on the beach, soaking up the sun, watching the waves and seeing Doug's word picture to me.  All was well - God loved me, Doug was home and sun blanketed my skin. 

No comments:

Post a Comment