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7.21.2011

DELIBERATE INTENTIONALISM

If there is anything I circle the barn over, tout as a mantra, a desire, that I quest constantly for, it is being intentional.  The older I have gotten the more I have come to know by experience that life takes you sometimes where you don't want, never intended, and shoves things in your line of vision that seek to distract or side track.  I have wanted most of my life to know and understand God's intentional design for me, who I was made to be, celebrate it and live by it (that in and of itself is a life long journey).  I have done many intentional things in my life, and have many more that I want to do.  My husband is finding out that I am a bit relentless.  That relentlessness has actually gotten stronger through the years.  Maybe aging, which moves us closer to death, creates an urgency - like a runner stepping up his pace intentionally as he sees the finish line drawing closer.  Maybe too it's like the parable in the Bible of the lamp oil where some didn't prepare and ran out of oil thinking there was time.  They didn't prepare, weren't intentional, because they were caught up - drawn away by everyday distractions.  I can easily be drawn away by many things daily; house projects, people/family/friends, how I physically feel, my mood, the weather, work.  Simply stated, there are not enough hours in the day sometimes.  I love the word intentional.  The thought behind it as, on purpose or deliberate - by design (created by thought) is really quite powerful.  That is a clear and vivid picture of God's creation and love for us - very intentional, very relentlessly in love pursuit.  He though, unlike me, doesn't get distracted or sidelined ever.  I want to be intentional in how I think, how I push myself, how I carve out time for things that matter, how I prioritize to get to what I want to do in life ultimately.  I don't want day after day to come and go saying, "Tomorrow I will do that or finish that.  Tomorrow I will write."  My husband suggested last night that I let off the gas pedal from time to time - to let my mind and body rest.  I will intentionally have to work on that.

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