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7.28.2011

LIGHT, MEDIUM OR HEAVY DUTY

I noticed something this week - the similarities of ironing board covers and tampons.  They seem to have nearly identical rating systems.  If you are like me, an ironing freak, you know that when you buy an ironing board cover they are listed as; light, medium or heavy duty.  It then usually gives an explanation (as though we are walking idiots who do not have a clue what those 3 words mean in regards to ironing).  Light=almost never irons and wears wrinkly clothes more than ironed ones.  Medium=irons when in a situation that needs the absence of wrinkles-weddings, funerals, possibly some work clothes, church.  Heavy Duty=anything that is worn is ironed - shorts, jeans, work clothes, possibly sheets, underwear maybe but daily you iron what you wear.  Those are layman's definitions.  I will iron clothes to work outside in.  I absolutely positively don't like wrinkles.  I feel out of sorts, messy and just not me if I am not ironed.  Probably due to my excessive and "heavy duty" ironing, I go through more ironing board covers than the light weighters do.  Daily do I iron and daily I do it in my underwear.  Please!  I am ironing the clothes I am about to put on.  It is nude ironing and has become an Olympic sport in my house.  Two things I look at on people; if their clothes are ironed, and if their shoes are taken care of.  So, don't worry I am not going to notice if you have hair sprouting forth from your ears like a willow tree nor will I notice if a booger is loose in your left nostril.  Back to the tampons.  Unfortunately, I am not done with that part of my reproductive life cycle yet!  Buying tampons yesterday I noted the rating system for absorbency; regular, super, super+, and stick a corn cob up your ass!  The feminine hygiene producers also put an explanation on their rating system (as though women throughout the world who go through menstruation every 28 days might not know!).  Regular=not much flowing.  Super=pieces of your uterus are falling out.  Super+=don't wear white pants presently.  And, stick a corn cob up your ass super++=might possibly need a blood transfusion.  I am doing my part to keep both industries alive!

1 comment:

  1. While I am not into ironing in the nude or sticking corn cobs up my ass, I WILL notice the burger in your nose and ear hairs (hate em). Also can't stand long eyebrow hairs (hate em). Unkept fingernails...do not get me started!
    And in case you're wondering, I need the "Light" ironing board cover ;) Needs dusting off from time to time.

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