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10.26.2011

LYNN'S MOVEMENT

Stuff has always sort of been cut and dry to me.  Maybe I'm a simpleton.  Maybe I can easily sort through nonsense to what matters.  I'm not sure.  Either way, I usually don't waste time when I see it clear.   Now there have been things in my life that I had to take the slow train through.  We all have those things.  I don't normally process out loud.  When I speak it, I mean it with just about everything in me I have.  By the time I do speak it, all routes have been contemplated, all avenues and scenarios have been played out, wrestling it to the ground has occurred, prayer has been had and my spirit, mind, body and soul are en route to movement already.  I do realize many in the world operate differently.  There are out loud processors sitting in the gallery as I type.  I'm sure I confuse them.  But for me, they produce chaos in my world.  To listen to their processing confuses me, seems like background noise, spanks of indecision and is of a language from a totally different planet than I live on.  They could, in describing inward processors, say much worse!  Now that is not to say that I don't get things from other's thoughts or experience.  Quite the contrary, that is usually part of my mental, silent, inward wheel of processing.  When I was in kindergarten I saw that I had the best way to play kitchen.  I orchestrated and told the others such:)  When I was in high school and was responsible for playing the piano for show choir and my ride didn't show up (I was 15 at the time and couldn't drive legally yet.), I took my parents car and drove in 5 inches of snow to the school.  But did so only after I had exhausted getting a hold of my parents, grandparents and aunt and uncle who would have taken me (they were all at church and it was before there were cell phones).  Of course on that "decision" my dad later had a talk with me asking if "I was using drugs":)   I can't stand to be on boards or committees or sit through sales meetings.  Literally I think I might crawl right out of my skin.  There are usually a handful (sometimes those in charge or a predominate talker in the group) who want to belabor every damn thing.  They want to examine, micromanage, read volumes word by word out loud, talk to hear the sound of their own voice and puff their own tail feathers up.  I want to, based on the facts and best scenarios, make a decision and MOVE!   If a decision is up for grabs that usually means there needs to be SOMETHING done, something changed, a movement of some sort in some direction.  I once stood up in a sales meeting after 2 blow hards would not shut up about nothingness and said, "I have things I need to do to make money.  If we are not moving forward, I am going to my office to make money."   The meeting ended:)  I once sat on a church Missions Committee.  It was so painful for me that I extricated myself from that obligation eventually.  God didn't need my anger flaring as we "discussed" constantly and did nothing.  The word "movement" in music means a song, a separate sort of piece within a larger score of music.  These "movements" are distinct.  One starts and ends, then the next starts and ends but all within this theme, score, story.  There is something to be said about conclusions and starts.  I do my concluding inwardly and then start - move!
 

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