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11.28.2011

LIVING FAST AND LOVING HARD

If you are a Seinfeld fan you might remember the episode where George, abandoning his normal responses and decisions in life which have garnered him mediocrity, decides to do just the opposite of what he would normally do.  His new found method brings him everything he'd never gotten; a girl, a job he really wanted, people finally taking notice of him.  He was almost in disbelief because he was so patterned to a lesser way of life.  I feel like George.  It continues to be the strangest experience that I am presently living.  There is not a day that goes by that I don't have a "George" measure of disbelief, a pinch me if this is real, or am I dreaming moments.  I never knew what it was to share a life with someone.  To be an equal partner with another.  To have a fluid flow with a mate.   I didn't know that every day could be magical.  That the journey of living daily life could be salted with heart and soul connectiveness.  My husband and I were talking over the weekend about how we felt the very first time we talked, had dinner and kissed.  He claims he knew from the moment he saw me walk in the restaurant that I was the woman he would love.  I knew from the words I read on his eharmony profile that he was the man I would love.  How you know something of such magnitude by a look or a word has only occurred twice in my life.  For both of us everything about our lives together is the complete polar opposite of our previous lives.  I mean everything.  Everything includes; going to bed with each other every night at the same time, being held in each other's arms throughout the night, getting groceries together, doing a house or repair project, being equal partners in life/work/play, communicating on the same level, intellectually matching, sharing the same vein of reverence and irreverence, cooking together, being surrounded by the other daily and still wanting more, operating fully in giving and receiving each other's love languages, having deep passion.  It was 11 months ago today that Doug and I went through all the stages of eharmony with each other in a mere 4 hours.  At 8 p.m. that same night I walked into McCarthy's for dinner with a man I had just met via the world wide web.  That instant changed my life forever.  I have crammed a hell of a lot of living in the past 11 months.  I texted Doug today....."11 months ago today I walked into McCarthy's to find you and a whole new life. I orchestrated none of it - God did it all as a deep answer to my heart's cry.   I feel like you have known me way longer than that.  I suppose that is because you and I live fast and love even harder."  (This blog is copyrighted so you cannot use that last sentence for lyrics to a song:)  When my lyrics are fully penned I hope they are sung mixed in with some strings, possibly a bit of banjo and most definitely a sweet simple picking accoustic guitar refrain.)

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