Pages

11.02.2011

PLUMBER'S BUTT

When I was in high school in 1980 pants were very high waisted.  There was no low waisted, extra-low waisted or can't wear underwear with em waisted pants.  Just the opposite.  On your rearside, the pants pants rose up travelling far beyond the boundary of your butt to nearly halfway up your back.  I never knew if it was an attempt to give people a small waist OR to make your ass appear 2 or more feet long.  I hated that style.  I felt trapped in high waisted pants.  But since that's all there was and I couldn't think outside the style box, I wore them.  Invariably they would ride up your crack a bit if they were even ever so slightly too tight.  Those pant styles really never put any one's body in the best light.  Except if you were as tall and skinny as Cher.  I have been noticing while shopping, reading magazines, or watching tv that high waisted pants are back:(  One day I declared to my husband, "There is no way in hell I am wearing those again.  I hated them when I was in high school.  I don't need my butt to look longer than it presently does with gravity at full tilt!"   My passion runs deep over this deeply world changing issue:)   Now I am 45 years old.  I'm still too young for totally old people clothes, but too old for the young, hip styles.  I love lower waisted pants though.  Sometimes it can be an issue as I am long waisted to start with.  Wearing low waisted pants requires longer shirts for me.  I recently bought a pair of blue jeans that were a bit lower waisted than my normal lower waisted ones.  Wearing them recently I noticed, as I bent over to check something in the oven, that my husband could conveniently slip his finger down my plumber's butt that was showing.  That was definitely a plus.  But I wondered if they were really appropriate - did anyone in the world really desire to see a 45 year old's butt crack?  I must say that I do spend considerable time hoisting them back up even if ever so slightly.  Since they are slung across my hips rather than above them, there is nothing for them to catch on.  I was in a store this week in those blue jeans.  Bending over slightly to look at something on a bottom shelf, I felt air on my skin!   At that exact moment of recognition, that I either needed to pull my pants up or snug my top down further, I caught a man's gaze.  He looked at my plumber's butt and grinned with either enjoyment or possibly horror as he strode away.  My ego can only take that it was enjoyment:)   I am caught in a style conundrum - hating high waisted pants or anything close to the true waist, but struggling to keep my low waisted ones up.  What is a plumber to do?

1 comment: