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11.12.2011

SHOULDER NIPPLES

Have you ever taken something out of your closet, off the hanger, only to find a shoulder nipple in the shirt?  I am an ironing maniac.  Seriously.  I iron nearly everything I wear just before I am ready to put it on.  Jeans included (I don't make a severe crease running down the pant leg - please!).  Once in awhile I take something out of the closet and it does not necessarily need ironing.  Then I see the shoulder nipple.  You know the stretched out convex marking from it hanging on the hanger.  Shoulder nipples are created from a number of variables.  First, any sort of stretchy material over a hanger will create the invariable shoulder nipple.  Second, sweaters are notorious for getting shoulder nipples if hung on hangers.  I hate when I put on a shirt or a sweater only to look in the mirror and realize I have two nipples on top of my shoulders besides the two on my chest which are permanently attached.  Third, certain hangers, especially metal ones are the culprits of these unsightly fabric formed nipples of sort.  Shoulder nipples are also a bit tricky to iron out of the article of clothing.  There isn't an easy way to remove them once they have sprouted up.  I do though highly recommend the "steam" setting!   Metal hangers most definitely are the worst culprits of the shoulder nipple.  Especially if you reuse old dry cleaners hangers that your husband's starched shirts come back on.  Plastic or wood hangers are a little better, but combined with the wrong fabric, they will also create the occasional shoulder nipple.  I take issue too with the simplistic manner in which word hanger was created to describe what it does.  I suppose it's both good and bad that the word cannot be misunderstood or interrupted for anything but what it is.  Did someone say, we need something to hang our clothes up with...let's call it a hanger.  My breasts aren't exactly up where they were when I was younger.  This whole shoulder nipple thing has got me thinking.  It could possibly be a great non-surgical way to create a diversion of sorts, for onlookers that is.  A passerby might think, "Those seem too low, yet those shoulder nipples are a bit too high."

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