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12.02.2011

I'D RATHER BE UGLY THAN DUMB

There are two things in life that we can't alter by much - looks and intelligence.   We are given a measure of both.  We are not, like a 12 ounce can of crushed pineapple, all given the same amount of each.  There is some settling that occurs in shipping:)    That is what makes us all unique, one of a kind, limited editions - rare.  It's also what can drive us crazy, give us material for sarcastic comments, keep plastic surgeons dutifully employed, cosmetic companies earning billions, Hollywood thriving,  and gives fodder to late night talk shows and comedians.  Our culture is abundantly full of ways to improve your looks somewhat, albeit at best temporarily.  What it hasn't seemed to help is to increase intelligence in those that need a boost upward. There's a quote that says, "I'd rather be ugly than stupid."  I would totally agree with that statement.  Being unattractive, less attractive or even repulsive doesn't yank my chain like intelligence does.  My tolerance though is nill for dumbness.  Nill I say.  I think though being dumb, not so bright, not intelligent, lacking in IQ points might be the better of the two to be lacking in.  If you are slow on the curve ball, two fries short, minus two flapjacks on the pancake stack, missing a full high five, maybe you are also missing the ability to know you are coming up short intellectually.  Now I am not talking about mere literalists who couldn't catch the trail of spoken conversation let alone the thread of unspoken but assumed that runs through it at the same time.   Those people just annoy the hell out me.  I am not talking about those that might just have a literalist personality.  No - but those to whom it is a direct result of an empty elevator.  My friend and I joke constantly that we want segregation - not by race.  We want it by intelligence.  (very sarcastic if you can't pick up the humor here).  In fact we, as the self-proclaimed rulers of the smart people planet, regularly relegate many to the planet of dumb heads.  I get exhausted with people who can't follow sarcasm, wit, simple every day processes, ask obvious questions yet don't get the answer given, make things harder than they need to be, and more or less see the world about the size of a pea as that's all their minds can hold.  If in hell we are subjected to those things that are what we hate the most, my corner of hell would be having to room with people with low IQs (not the truly handicapped people in the world), having to have constant conversation with them, having to drive behind a slow driver and being forced to eat only mincemeat pie and all things raisinesque.  That is the stuff my nightmares are made of!  Someone asked me recently, while in my home, why the timer to my oven went off multiple times.  I explained I was baking something and it wasn't quite done, so I set the timer again for a few minutes and then checked it again.  Their response, "I don't understand."  I had nowhere to go from there.  How do I explain something again that didn't even warrant an explanation the first time.  Having to retell a moment of slicing wit that was originally well placed and perfectly timed destroys all comedy.  It feels like someone just sucked all the air out of a balloon!  I know I should have grace and if I can't give grace for the less intelligent, at least tolerance.  Tolerance is even a tall order for me in response to lack of intelligence.  My mind whirls very fast and to slow it down is painful, awkward and not easy to do.  Thus my theory of two planets....one for the intelligent and one for the dumb heads!

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