Pages

1.04.2012

THE OTHER WOMAN IN MY LIFE

I have a love-hate relationship with technology.  I love the things that it can do for me.  That information and knowledge is at my fingertips.  That it opens up the world and makes me more connected to a bigger sphere than the little ball I live in. I do though hate that it dominates our lives.  It fills our every waking moment.  Even, if we think we aren't addicted to it.  We are constantly picking up our phones, checking, searching, playing.  Collectively it becomes a lot of time.  I have an IPhone 4.  Previous to yesterday, my husband had an IPhone 3.  He now has an IPhone 4S.  He one-upped me now in oh so many ways.  The S in the IPhone 4S stands for Siris.  She is the Lady-In-Red of the 4S world.  Literally she talks to you.  The IPhone 4S is voice activated with Siris' voice - a technological Geisha Girl if you will.  I already hate her ever loving guts!  My husband bombarded Siris' boundaries of knowledge last night.  He commanded her to text me that he loved me.  He asked her to find his brother's address.  He told her to take him to champagneandraisins.com.  His wish seemed to be her command.  I was feeling nauseous already.  The designers at Apple thought of just about every scenario that people could think.  Even accounting for the fact that people, giddy with technological ecstasy, would ask junior high boyish or inappropriate questions to test the limits of Siris.  We were no different.  After a bevy, a barrage of meaningless questions, we went all 12 year old on her.  Ok, I didn't:)  Her response to Doug's racey inappropriate test question was"Fine question.  Now let's get back to work."  Damn it, Steve Jobs thought of everything!  We are curious creatures aren't we.  We love to test the limits, the boundaries, the capacity of something.  Last night I said to Doug, while he was enraptured with Siris-the S in IPhone 4S, while he was in the initial stages of his torrid love affair, the following things; "You have a servant now:)  Slavery was abolished by law in 1865.  Siris is not your Geisha Girl!  I think I have technology lust."

In the very memorable words of Kip, from the movie Napoleon Dynamite, "I love technology.  But not as much as you my dear (Doug)."  

Back off Siris.  He is mine!

No comments:

Post a Comment