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2.26.2012

WHEN TOO MUCH IS TOO MUCH

My husband and I were watching one of the too many channels that really have nothing on them to watch the other day.  We were just randomly flicking through nothingness crapola hoping to fall upon something riveting.  I don't recall the channel, but riveting popped off the screen in the form of a Brazilian woman living in the U.S. with 38KKK breasts.  The program was about people who had so much plastic surgery it was a form of an addiction - an unhealthy fascination with altering their bodies.  This woman was case in point.  18 surgeries (mostly breast but also her nose, lips and buttocks) and over one gallon of silicon created two breasts the size of satellite weather balloons. The visual of her original 34B bra laying next to a 38KKK bra was like seeing a guppy next to a great white shark.  I say, to each his own.  We are all individuals.  We all have certain things that we like or don't like.  The story went on to show her with her daughter.  Because of the size of her breasts she cannot hug with her arms all the way around her daughter.  It also showed her at the gym.  Even with 2 or 3 sports bras on she cannot run due to the enormity and the movement of her breasts.  Forget the Red Rider bee-bee gun from "A Christmas Story" taking Ralphie's eye out!  Running would cause definite injury to her face, possibly cause a rupture of the silicon and probably injure anyone within a 3 foot radius of her.  I am a 32 barely A cup.  I love to run.  I absolutely love to see my stomach, tie my own shoes and hug people close.  The only time I wasn't able to fully do those things was in the final month of my pregnancy.  I sometimes ask my husband if what I have is enough.  I don't have cleavage and if I wear a sports bra it appears that I am pre-pubescent.  I asked Doug, "Do you find this woman sexy?  Do you or most men dream of breasts the size of the planet Pluto?  What in the hell would you do with those - hide the clicker in the them, a sandwich for later?"  Doug laughed and assured me that 38KKK was not attractive in any way shape or form for him.  I hate wearing a bra and many days I don't.  There is no need to!!  Her body was so out of proportion it was freakish.  She commented that she gets looked at alot.  I have a hard time believing it's because it is attractive but more likely because it is absolutely startling and bizarre.  This morning before church my husband and I went for a four and half mile walk.  I slipped on my jeans, no bra, long sleeved black running shirt and a sweatshirt.  It was easy, simple and freeing.  No one gawked at me, unless of course you count Doug who watched me pull on my shirt over a braless chest. 

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