I just attempted to run in 30 mph winds.  No one else was out running.  I wondered while running if all the other runners were smarter than me, slacked off more than me, were waiting till later hoping for a drop in wind speeds or didn't have quite the tenacity and drive that I do.  I picked the latter.  It made me feel better about myself!  During runs that are taxing, either due to weather conditions or my own physical off zone days, I give my permission to give up running at the end of the run I am on.  I tell myself that if I never ever want to run again, I don't have to.  But, that never ever running again thing will start after I finish the run I am currently in the process of.  It's a great tool that continues to get me through the yucky runs.  I give myself permission to slack off later if I so choose.  Though I have never actually utilized the permanent never ever running again any further than in theory.  I've been to the Hoover Dam.  It is an incredibly amazing place for several reasons.  Number one, it's a flipping desert.  Number two, they harnessed the Colorado River - a river I say!  Number three, they came in under time and budget on the project.  Number four, there is amazing beauty in the combination of the Colorado River, Lake Meade, the wide open Nevada sky, and this enormous man made creation.  I always think of the verse in the Bible where God says (Nancy's paraphrase), Who has ever known the mind of God?  Who can contain the waters?  If you read some history on the building of the Hoover Dam, though amazingly brilliant, they were still at the mercy of nature.  You will also find that though every scenario was thought of for disasters (while building it and today in its existence), natural disasters or attacks usually aren't predictable and scenarioed.  Job in the Bible lamented to his friends, and ultimately to God when granted an audience with him, that life is not fair - that we get what we do not always deserve.  We control very little in life other than our responses to everything that comes to us.  That includes; weather, relationships, money, jobs, words, the results of others thoughts/decisions or actions, our health, the process of aging and death.  I thought about that as I ran in 30 mph winds.  I could not control the veracity of it, the direction, or the duration.  The only thing that I had jurisdiction over was whether I was going to stay in it and run or turn and go home.  It's funny really how we evolve and diminish.  When we are young we gain more control and more freedom of choices.  As we age, we come to know though we have freedom of choices, we really don't control things.  Then at a later point in our journey, toward the end of life, we clearly see our freedom of choices diminish.  And ultimately, we come to know we have no control.   We are a bit like the Hoover Dam as human beings.  We are created by God to live in His wild nature, totally in His kingdom.  Though we have great freedom of choice, we do not have control.  Even if we think we do.     

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