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4.12.2012

I YAM WHAT I YAM

There are things that I cannot do.  Some of them I wish I could.  Some, I am glad I was not given the propensity, ability or desire for.   For instance, I cannot whistle loudly or even correctly for that matter.  Which means, I cannot readily whistle the theme music to the "Andy Griffith Show".  As a kid I taught myself a version of whistling by puckering my lips, but instead of blowing out, I sucked air in to make the whistle.  My sisters tried to undo my wrong form, but I still whistle to this day by slowly inhaling air as I make a whistlie noise.  I cannot whistle like my mother.  She could whistle so loud and shrill that we could be a quarter mile away or back in the woods and recognize the call to head home.  That is talent I do not have.  Just the other night, while laying in bed with Doug, I mentioned that I always wished I could whistle with two fingers in my mouth  (we have the most interesting bedtime conversations).  Was there a class I could take?  Doug was interested too as he can't whistle like that either.   I am not a belcher either.  Do I from time to time have a bit of a backwards burpie hiccup sort of sound?  Yes, but it is quiet and not often.  My mom and her side of the family were burpers.  If the difference between force and volume is what determines a burp versus a belch, then they were belchers.  My Aunt Dee is amazing.  She can break the sound barrier with her belches.  My mom carried on the tradition as well.  Both of them can belch very loudly and with amazing longevity.  Reportedly some high notes emitted by opera singers can shatter glass, their belches can pop an ear drum!  I cannot produce that no matter how I try (and I don't!).  It skipped me and went directly to my daughter.  Hannah can readily keep up with her burping/belching elders.  It is a sight and sound to behold to hear this 100 pound young woman bring such power out!  That is one thing I am not really sad that I cannot do.  Just like there are burpers, there are pukers.  I cannot do that as well.  And, for the record, I have no desire to want to be given the ability.  It's not that I swallow the urge to throw-up, I just really don't ever have the urge.  I have thrown up only once in my entire lifetime and that was in 3rd grade on my red boots.  That throw-up was part of the start of mononucleosis.  Pukers are funny to me.  Not just the sounds they make when they throw up, but what they say to non-pukers;  You'd feel better if you could throw up.  Sometimes I know that my stomach will calm down once I get it out.  It's such a relief when it's all over.  Really?  You think bringing up the contents of my stomach through my esophagus and mouth into a porcelain bowl while kneeling in front of it would make me better?   After I'm done with that would you run over my little toe to take away the pain of the hang nail I have on it!  I think, if I ever swallowed something poisonous and they had to get it back out, Syrup of Ipecac wouldn't even work on me.  I also cannot roll my tongue.  That is just a genetic predisposition I was not given.  It is somewhat amusing and cool to watch others gathered at family gatherings, Super Bowl parties and Bar Mitzvahs show off their tongue curling abilities.  I really don't have a strong longing to curl my tongue or really have reason why I would need that ability.  I rarely eat stemmed maraschino cherries nor do I have a deep need to tie knots in their stems.  Some things I just can live without - puking and curling my tongue are a few. 

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