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4.05.2012

MASTERING THE ART OF OGLING

At the very least men and women are geared differently.  Our differences though, much of the time, are blaring clear.  The gender chasm between us gaping wide open.  Ogling is one distinctive marker of difference.  It's not that one gender looks lustfully at the other while the opposing gender does not look or even notice.  That would be far from true.  The distinction between the two parties is methodology.  Approach.  Implementation.  I can only speak about females from a know - I AM ONE.  My perspective from men is from experience and observation.  My know is stopped short of being a male.  While walking arm in arm with my husband last night through the evening air in Dupont Circle in Washington D.C., we passed crowds of people, people eating at outside cafes on a beautifully warm Spring evening.  It's a higher economic crowd and probably safe to say, a higher educated crowd.  So, what I experienced told me something that is universal (though toned down a bit in the white color crowd) - men look at women in obvious ways.  And, they are obvious about it even if the woman is with a man.  As my husband I strolled about we passed by a group of suits (men) standing outside a restaurant.  I saw one of the men look at me in boldness even though I was holding hands with Doug.  He went a step further.  As we got directly in front of him, I saw out of the corner of my eye that he turned his whole head to watch the rear of me as we strode by him.  He seemed unaware and unabashed in his ogling.  I could feel his eyes on my posterior as we walked away.  Starting to steam a bit inside, I commented to Doug about the man to see if he had noticed.  Oh he had indeed noticed.  We talked from a man and woman's point of view of that event.  Of the ogling.  At first Doug was funny with his, "well I would look at your ass too babe - it's great!"  Then he shared that there is a bit of unwritten etiquette between men; even if you notice a beautiful woman, if she is with someone, you are not blatant like that.  He noted that he too had watched the man stare and turn his head to follow me.  It seemed a bit like a show on animal planet to me!  Now, not to sound harsh, but the more white collar the man, the better and more discreet they are at ogling a woman.  This man, though very white collar looking, played by blue collar rules.  Woman look and notice men too.  We are not above seeing a physical work of art and taking it in.  For the most part though, woman can do it all without a man even really knowing they did it.  I think that comes from the fact that women utilize their overly observasive skills far more on a daily basis in every avenue in life than do men.  We are just better at observing and not being obvious.  Women compared to men, observe in greater detail everything around them.  It's probably because we are fairly detailed oriented in living life.  It showcases itself well in our ogling - unassuming, almost never being caught doing it.  We walked a bit further toward another group of businessman walking toward us.  One man would not stop looking directly at me.  As they passed by, Doug commented on that man's strange behavior of not averting his gaze off of me.  I laughed, stating to Doug that I wanted to say what was in my head...Thanks for the visual affirmation, but buddy you crossed the line.  No woman likes that.  At least not the kind of woman who would stay with you long term!  I shared with Doug that everyone loves a bit of opposite gender affirmation from time to time.  You know the old, I still got it sort of thing.  I also smiled inside because I don't see myself the way others do I guess.  None of us probably do.  I am just average Nancy.  Though I've got Doug thoroughly fooled.

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