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8.13.2012

I STILL DO


That is the name of a song, "I Still Do". Its meaning very evident by the title. A declaration of sorts if you will. It says; life may have changed, there might be distance, circumstances or choices that have altered proximity, but nothing changes my heart. I like that because issues of the heart are deep and rich not flippant and or easily emptied.

"The heart wants what the heart wants" is a familiar saying. Its first manifestation can be seen in kids. Ever see a child bawling because they did not get something their heart wanted? I remember my own daughter's heartache when the first boy she really liked went to college leaving her to finish high school without him. His heart moved on long before hers did.

Our hearts are a powerful force. They are like the rudders of our lives. Sometimes, and thankfully, they are
what sustains us amid a swirl of chaos and change. It is the place of unchangeableness in a shifting world of relationships or circumstances. It is a deep well of hope and love.

Still other times it can be a place of unmet desires that constantly show us our lack. Painting a repeating looping picture of missed love, or creating a fierce angst between our deep longings and the contrasting present realities.

I have had both of those places firing full cylinders in my heart over the course of living. You probably have too. It is both a comfort to go to the "still dos" of the heart and a hard place to leave our unmet desires. Both never leave us. Whether they bring hope or hurt, a know or a worry is a choice we have to make with some of them.

Everything about us; thoughts, feelings, personality, experiences, dreams, hopes and hurt flow to our heart. There, in that hidden away from others place, is the sum of the real us. It all converges there.

The heart does not easily let go. That is both good and bad at times. It is a highly private and intimate place. It is a place sometimes that we don't want to speak about to another living soul. It though is the place where God himself waits to be invited in to share in all we are - hopes, dreams, loves, and unfulfilled longings.

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