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8.21.2012

MY MENTAL MENAGERIE



I had a stellar thought for a blog post yesterday when running.  It stemmed from something I had been deep in thought over for a few days.  There was a great word that had planted itself in my brain that needed to be used.  I connected the dots from that word to another phrase.  While running I kept reminding myself to write it down upon getting in the house.  Don't waste these words and thoughts, I told myself over and over again.  How quick my mind is to think brilliance and then, like a bird flying through my back yard, it is gone!

True inspiration usually can't be repeated exactly.  Think about that.  Whether it's an amazing athletic showing, a musical performance, a world record of some type, a business phenomena, a moving speech, a New York Times bestseller.  Literally I have spoke before a group in the past or written things that later I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how I came up with that information, that delivery.  If I had to repeat it, I could not.  It was for that moment, that time, that place or person. 

Many times I have read what I have written, either to be read or delivered in a class or speaking, and wondered who in the world could have gotten anything out of that.  It didn't have clarity or purpose.  It didn't nail it home.  I sounded dumb and flat.  Only a few times have I read something I have written and wondered who wrote that!  They were brilliant!

On the last two blocks of my run I heavily concentrated on that word and that phrase that developed what I had been pondering.  Two blocks is not that long.  That is approximately only two-tenths of a mile.  That equates to approximately 1 minute 30 seconds - give or take the day and my speed. (I just used my toes to calculate that.  English was my strong suit in school, not math!)  I got distracted as I ran up the driveway by our crab apple tree.  Those crab apples were strewn about calling all yellow jackets to the yard and sidewalk we use to get to the front door.  In that split second of transferring my thoughts from my magic word and phrase to deciding to pick up the 12 crab apples before yellow jackets swarmed, the thoughts evaporated. 

They not only evaporated, but from the crap apple tree to the front door they slipped into my mental black hole.  What is even worse, I did not remember that I had even forgotten them when I entered the house.  I did not say, Now what was that word and phrase!  Nope.  I just went about the day oblivious.  That is until this morning when I ran again.  About a half mile from home I remembered I had been inspired internally in my brain regarding something yesterday but didn't even remember it long enough to write it down.  Those damn crab apples!  Yet another reason I hate that tree.

I did my own Alzheimer's test; spell WORLD backwards, what county am I in, who is the President of the United States, what city do I live in.  I easily answered those questions.  But for the life of me though I cannot find that word again, that inspiration.  It was destined for yesterday and I lost it.  It would have been brilliant:)

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