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9.04.2012

SIMBA TAKES THE LEAD


How is it you can know something intellectually, but experientially be caught off guard by it.  That was me on August 1st, 2012.

My daughter texted me that Wednesday morning early, "Are you working today mom?"  I smiled at 7:00 a.m. getting ready for work at the thought of her being up on her day off and texting me a question that we had covered yesterday.  "Yes," I replied.   Not thinking much about the texting interchange, I went to work.  My work that day was not more than a 5-7 minute drive from my house.  My thoughts upon arriving were of the normal start of a work day; pulling wires from the printer, checking the schedule, doing callbacks from messages left, processing to do's for clients scheduled for the day, checking the buys and sells.

Several hours into the morning I glanced up to see my daughter, Hannah, stroll in the door.  I was a bit surprised that she would drive 25 minutes to see me on her day off when she makes that drive every other day to work.  Her husband, my son-in-law, works just down the street from my office and I assumed that she either had come to see him, or was en-route to a bank meeting at their corporate office.  There was nothing really to alert me.  Nothing to hint that winds were about to change.  That life was about to take a turn. 

I smiled and hugged her hard when she popped in my office.  I love her with a deep, white-hot passion and usually can't contain my delight in getting to be her mom.  She is just a cool person!  Based on her mode of dress, I quickly surmised she was not going to a bank meeting.  Dressed in shorts, I questioned her why she drove over on her day off.  Did she come to see Brandon, her husband?  I noticed nothing out of the ordinary really.  She didn't glance her eyes off to the side as is the case with liars at times.  She responded, "I came to give you your birthday present early."

She held out a familiar box to me.  It was the same jewelry box I had given her for her birthday the week before which had held a unique necklace I had picked up in Washington D.C. with her in mind.  Our birthdays are 15 days apart with hers on July 24th and mine, August 8th.  I laughed and told her I didn't want my birthday present a whole week early!  I sensed nothing brewing, nothing teetering on the brink.  Holding it out she said, "I thought you might want this early." 

As I took the box from her hand I commented how familiar that box was, that she was utilizing the art of re-gifting but missing the point that you don't re-gift to the person that had given you the gift.  We both laughed at our shared loved of a bargain, including re-using gift bags, boxes and what have you.  I felt blessed that she had driven over to see me on her day off.  It made me feel loved and allowed me the privilege of getting to see her.

The truck was barreling toward the guard rail, but I remained unaware.  I gently lifted off the lid of the rectangular jewelry box revealing a layer of tissue paper.  I was excited for what I thought she had given me, another necklace.  She knows my style and has given me several very simple and artistic hand-made necklaces as gifts.  The past necklaces were beautiful and I had one of them on that day.   My heart was already thinking about how she just gets me.  She knows what I like and constantly gives me gifts that reflect things I love.  I wondered what beautiful hand-made by some artist necklace she had found for me this time.

I pulled the tissue paper back.  What I saw caused an immediate, involuntary and uncontrollable result.  Sobs burst from me as I saw a pregnancy test laying where I thought my birthday necklace would be.  It showed a pink + sign.  My mind whirled in warp speed and yet I clearly experienced a myriad of thoughts and feelings in slow motion.  She was pregnant on this day, August 1st, her third year wedding anniversary.  My sobs continued in unstoppable waves which involved me sobbing and hugging her tight and then pulling away to look at her and then starting the process all over again. 

I tried to get control.  I tried to stop sobbing but to no avail.  They were tears of pure delight, amazement, wonder, nostalgia and blessing.  She responded to my tears and exuberance with teary eyes.  She fell into my arms to share my joy and I think feel connection to her mom and get reassurance.  In that split second everything shifted.  The world as I had thought it to be was changing.  Something shifted.  I felt joy in a way that could not be contained or articulated.

Kudos to them as a couple!  For removing the birth control implant and telling no one that they were going to let the natural progression of reproduction take its course.  I admired their quest to live their lives not under the microscope of parents and friends watching them trying to get pregnant.  I was infinitely proud of her.  I was overwhelmed with love.

I didn't see the semi truck hurtling down the mountainside with no working brakes.  I knew in my head this day would someday come.  But, much like riding the school bus daily knowing someday you will grow up, it seemed like her having a baby - me being a grandparent - was out there someday but not now. 

Hannah - my baby's
having her first baby.
A moment of nausea at the zoo!
The smell of buffalo can do that.

Me carrying Lexie, one of our other grandkids.
My son-in-law Brandon, the soon to be
new dad, walking ahead of me.
We have matching ponytails:)
I felt like Mufasa.
Simba had come
into her own.

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