Standing in line at the lab this morning waiting my turn to register, I was texting my husband.  ...thought I would be safe at the lab at this time of day and not have to wait in line.  Huge line:(((  All old people, and me!  I wasn't really paying much attention to the people sitting in the waiting room chairs literally 2 feet from my legs.  I was engrossed in texting and not pleased that I had to wait and waste time.  Unlike the vast majority of those in that room, I did have things and an agenda to get to today!

As I pushed SEND, I heard the two old men to my immediate left sitting in chairs commenting to me.  "I'm sorry", I said, "Were you talking to me?"  They were relatively unabashed in their staring at all of my body parts, but in particular my legs.  Having run this morning, I still had  on my running shorts and white long-sleeved shirt as the temps were 50ish this morning.  Here we go, I thought to myself, two dirty old men with no filter and believe all of life is pornography for them to be enjoyed!  I kept texting my husband a play by play of what was unfolding in a public clinic lab waiting room....

The two old men with wide-eyed enjoyment asked, "How do you stay so thin?  You look great."  I could feel every set of eyes in that room turn and look at me.  Unbelievable!  Just what I wanted, a loud conversation regarding my looks with two 80 year old men in the waiting room in front of everyone.  What the hell am I going to say to get them to stop commenting on my looks in this highly inappropriate forum, I thought to myself.  "Well, I run and don't eat donuts", I said hoping that my direct humorous approach would deflate them.  The dig on donuts was because it appeared they consumed them on a regular and steady basis. 

It was to no avail.  These two ya-hoos carried on hurtling sexism like it was shit from a pig barn.  "So, you don't eat biscuits and gravy either?"  "Nope" came my terse response.  They charged onward as if they just had to empty every last thought from their heads - both of them:)  "Hmmm, well if you are so healthy and thin and exercise why are you in the lab?"  Oh My Gosh!  I was fastly running out of patience and niceness with these two loud mouths!  Pushing ahead right through the yellow turning red light, the leader of the sex crazed old men club said, "Well, my 50 year old daughter exercises all the time and she don't look like you at all!  You gotta be in your thirties."  I was 46 but had no desire to brag about that with two 80 year old men who probably had been intimate with a woman in years!  The end had been reached by me at the exact same time I was called to the window to register.  We were both saved!  I walked away without saying a word.  What would have come out of my mouth next would not have been nice at all.  It would have been fairly blunt and direct and loud. 

As I walked to the lab draw room I was fuming.  I told the lab tech woman my story of the two men in the waiting room.  She said it has been a problem with several of the elderly men  who frequent the lab and that now the one male phlebotomist was the only who would draw their blood.  We discussed why some old men think that is ok; because of their age, there is no time left for wasting time on filtering anything or it's just who they have always been.  Simultaneously we both came to the conclusion that there was a good chance those men were like that in their 40's as well.  We pitied their wives if they had any.  No doubt that is definitely where the phrase dirty old men came from!

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