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10.04.2012

FOR ONLY 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF . . .



I have succumbed to infomercials a time or two in my life.   Their ploy is to make it appear imperative to your health, wealth, success, organizational structure of your life, appearance or clothing style to buy their program, gadget, widget, gidget, doo-dad, how-to book, girdle, small almost drive-able kitchen device, lotion or potion.  Damn them.

My daughter, when she was a freshman in high school, got mesmerized by the infomercial for the wonder stick or the whip.  She wanted that thing in the worst way though her deep reasons escaped me.  I bought one.  I can't really remember its exact name as its claims far exceeded its actual value and real abilities.  I came home from work one day to find that her and a friend had tried to make something involving pineapple and pineapple juice.  It was literally everywhere; the ceiling, the walls, the cabinets.  I lost it.  The wonder stick also lost its place in my kitchen from henceforth. 

I am highly into health, exercise, nutrition and taking care of oneself.  Flipping on the TV late one night I was sucked in by Jack LaLane's Power Juicer.  Just look at Jack, 4,000 years old standing still trim and fit in his strange sort of jumpsuit.  He was passionately exuberant about the turn back the hands of time benefits to juicing.  I mean really, if I drink that juice I could live to be old and active and vibrant like Jack and his wife. 

I fought the urge to want to dial the number then.  I fought the desire to buy his juicer.  I tried to get this monkey off my back for quite some time, months and months.  It seemed though, every time I watched TV in the middle of the night ,there was Jack LaLane and his Power Juicer.  That was it, I wanted to be healthy.  I needed to be healthy.  THIS would be the thing that propelled me to the next level of health.   I dialed the number.

In the 6 or 7 years that I have owned that beautiful many parts involved juicer, I have used it probably 10 times or less.  It does though make great juice!  It also makes such a huge mess that it takes 10 times longer to clean up than it does to make one 12 ounce glass of juice.  And, where do you store something that large?  What was I thinking!  Jack, you are not only virtually eternal, but probably very wealthy from your high maintenance juicer.

I also needed skin like Susan Lucci, who played Erika on TV's "All My Children".  She had her own line of skin care products with a version of a microderm abrasion widget.  Did I want to fight aging well?  Did I want an arsenal that could turn back the hands of time in the world of collagen?  Oh baby did I ever!  I tried to fight the urge to believe there is anything really that can be the magic fix to aging.  I rationally knew that not to be true even as I dialed the 800 number and ordered YOUTHFUL ESSENCE by Susan Lucci.  I have since morphed my way back to drug store face wash.  And, I continue to crawl into bed at night without washing my face. 

Who hasn't watched PX90 or some similar informercial.  Producers of those spots know the power of visuals.  We are sight oriented and easily persuaded masses!  We are all befores just 90 days away from becoming afters!  My ex husband bought that one hook-line-and-sinker!  He did the program for all of about 3 days. His after was nearly identical to his before.  I did it for 90 days but since at the time my body weight was 95-100 pounds there wasn't a lot of change to be seen.  My before was fairly close to my after too!

Are you seeing a trend here?  We believe products will solve our deep unmet desires of being more beautiful, thinner, healthier, or will make our life easier.  That's why infomercials are absolutely brilliantly played to those desires.  Who doesn't want to make an entire 3 course meal in one pan either?

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