Pages

10.23.2012

TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO MAN HAS GONE BEFORE


I was a big fan of the original "Star Trek" series (1966-1969) which starred William Shatner as Captain James Kirk. Laugh if you will. A trekkie I am not.  He was young, good looking and wore a tight USS Starship Enterprise uniform.   He did not look as you might know him now from his stint as the face of Priceline.com.  I too now look different than when I was 25.  Different equates mostly towards the word worse when used in that context.

Long before his days on "T.J. Hooker", "The Practice", "Boston Legal", or as the spokesman for Priceline.com, William Shatner's character commanded the starship Enterprise to, "....explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life, to boldly go where no man has gone before".  That phrase was part of the intro to the show weekly.  I will spare you the details of the hokie-ness of their special effects, their overuse of aluminum foil, their over acting or the fact that my grandfather always called Spock, a character on the show, "hog ears". 

Lest I digress, the point is that the show highlighted the fact that they were unafraid of what lay ahead.  They navigated their path into things that were hard, scary, unknown, confrontational even.  I like that statement, "....to boldly go where no man has gone before."  It's part of my mantra, my ways, the way my mind and spirit operate.   I boldly went where no man has gone recently.

Being divorced from the background I have has been quite interesting.  It has posed none too few situations that have made me a bit angry, sad, hurt and disgusted in general with people's reactions based on their assumptions of things that are not founded, not true.   It has though provided me with opportunities to be possibly a bit blunt and to draw the line in what information I give to others. 

Over the weekend we were meeting our kids at the half-way point between our two places of residences to hand back the grand kids that had stayed with us.  Tending to two of the grand kids, helping them scoot two tables together, while the rest of the gang finished ordering at the counter, I was engrossed in their kidness.  I heard my name called several times and by the time I snapped myself from kidville, I looked up to see some former parishioners from a church my first husband and I pastored.  Jen called my name and warmly hugged me in shock of seeing me in the town she lived in. 

I prefer to state the obvious and tackle the awkward to get it over with, "Jen, you know I am re-married."  I didn't say it in a questioning way, but in a reassuring think you probably know but if not now you do sort of way.  Quickly I followed up with, "Over there is Doug, my husband of going on 2 years, our 3 grand kids and daughter and son-in-law."  I left her no room to wonder or question or to assume any more than I figured she had been doing.

As her and I got caught up with her now 4 kids under the age of 6, her husband, one of my former worship leaders, talked on with the friends they were dining with.  She still couldn't figure out why I was there when I lived in Georgia.  I laughed, "Georgia?  I don't live in Georgia.  Never have."  She shook her head, as if she were sifting through information she had heard and had taken as the gospel truth.  "Well, I was told you lived in Georgia," she mused, continuing to be confused between reality, rumors and misinformation and the collison of them right in front of her.

She asked how I was, commented on the fact that I needed to eat more when she hugged me (who does that!) and seemed to be confused between things she had heard and the realness of me standing there in the flesh doing well and living in the area.  After a few minutes, I bid her farewell warmly, genuinely always loving Jen's spirit.  Her husband had a difficult time acknowledging my presence and very coldly and aloofishly turned away after I said goodbye to him.  The piousness ricocheted off him but I did not let it penetrate me.  I knew the truth.  He did not.

Recently I met up with a couple from another church my ex and I had served some 25 years ago.   She asked me point blank, "What happened?  Tell me what happened that caused a divorce."  My response to her came relatively easily and boldly, "No, I will not.  It is a private matter and I have gone on with my life.  It is something that we decided we would not discuss with others.  So, I will not say why."  She smiled and responded, "Ok.  I can respect that.  And I suppose, good for you."   Did I cause the rumor mill to keep perpetuating itself by not divulging information?  Maybe.  Did I face an unreasonable and out of line question squarely by drawing a line?  Yes.

No comments:

Post a Comment