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12.23.2012

THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL


I sat in my car at the stoplight waiting for it to turn green.  My gaze fell upon an older woman crossing the street on the crosswalk in front of my car.  I watched her gait, the clothes she wore, the weathered and worn skin that made up her face.  How old was she?  Where was she walking to?  I would be there some day too.  I would be that old woman with a weathered face walking across the street.  In fact, it seems it would be here before I knew it, wanted it or was ready for it. 

My face would no doubt be far more weathered than hers at that same age.  I had spent a lifetime of loving the sun, running and biking out doors, being out in nature sometimes no matter the temperature or conditions.  I suppose if you put one of those lights up to my face to show the damage, it would be massive.  I've never been a great wearer of sunscreen.  Now in my mid to late forties I can't find enough lotions or wrinkle creams to combat the squint and age lines or fully hydrate my alligator dry skin.

I got glasses for distance vision in 9th grade.  Since 9th grade, 32 years, I have only had 4 pair of which I have rarely wore any pair I have had.  Until this past year I really only needed to wear them if I cared to see anything spectacularly in detail from a distance.  And mostly, I was ok to not see anything spectacularly in detail from a distance:) 

This year my reading vision has plummetted.  I don't know why they have to make print on the ingredient content of most items so damn small to begin with.  My years of squinting to see something at a distance is now coupled with squinting to see things that are too small up close.  Combine all that squinting with the fact that I have not been a wearer of sunglasses which is causing me to welcome to my face an ever developing and deepening furrowed brow.  I am not welcoming it with open arms though.

You know how easy it is when stressed to pull your shoulders up from tension?  We aren't even fully aware that we are in a tightened state.  It takes conscience effort to force your shoulders down, relax your arms and breath correctly.  I am making a concerted effort to not furrow my brow.  I though am making little progress.  It's hard to undue a lifetime of bad habits, no sunscreen, not wearing glasses when needed, and having a face that shows every thought on the outside.

I am considering a counter measure to my deeply furrowed brow.  Since Botox or plastic surgery is not an option, a piece of duct tape pulled tightly in a vertical line from the space between my eyebrows up to my hairline might be a cheaper less invasive option.  They make duct tape in all different colors.  Flesh toned tape would be far less obvious when I crawl in to bed at night.  Maybe Doug wouldn't even notice.   

Had the old woman crossing the street fought age and lines and furrowed brows too?  She didn't win.  I wouldn't either at some point either.

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