Pages

1.09.2013

QUESTIONS AND TOILETS



The differences between men and women are varied and great on a few things.  To concise them down to generalizations isn't necessarily fair or all-encompassing.  But, that is exactly all I can do - make sweeping gender statements.  I don't have the man power, capital or far reaching marketing synopsis to garner a wider range or sampling of my generalized noted differences.

This is not meant to be a men are always this or women are always that sort of pocket guide.  We are all unpredictable at times.  Our personalities mix with our gender and sometimes create a curve to the male or female generalizations.  Forgive me if you do not fit perfectly in the box I am building.  I don't fit it either on certain things as well.

You might wonder where I have garnered my information for these my gender generalizations.  Women talk.  In fact, (another sweeping generalization is coming here) women can sit or stand next to a woman they have never met before, on a train/in a doctor's waiting room/in the grocery store check out line/digging through sale racks at a store, and in the first 5 minutes come to know a significant amount of personal information about them.  We ask questions.  We give up information too.  Men do not. 

Men do not really ask questions, not unless they have to.  And if they do ask a question, it does not lead to another question, and yet another question, followed by a rabbit trail of other questions regarding the answer to one of their previous questions.  They are singular in their thoughts and do not add an S to the word question mostly never ever.  Men are quite content to not have details.  They are fully ok to not know certain things.  Not only are they ok with it, but it isn't even on their radar to think down those lines, to want to know, to need to know.  It is entirely outside their scope of radar altogether.

We differ on our bathroom time as well.  Granted, many women take far longer to get ready in the bathroom than do men.  But, men run toilet time marathons compared to most women's sprints to throne time.  This is one area that continues to have me baffled while showing itself a constant and consistent difference in most joint gender households.

Men are the butt of the joke in the going-to-the-bathroom-time-spent-on-the-toilet difference between men and women.  Men actually pack things to take with them into the bathroom if they are sitting a spell,; iPads, their phones, the newspaper, magazines, even books.  It's like taking a carry-on bag on an airline flight.  Now, I don't know definitely if the carry-on bag of activities and crafts are what keeps them in there for nye on to eternity.  Or, if there is a legitimate difference in time down the track and through the gate between a man's colon and a woman's.  I also don't know if men take their time more, think about it longer because they genuinely enjoy the respite from the outside world.  Women wait till the time is upon them, do their business and are done.  We find greater pleasure in asking questions than we do in sitting on the throne for long periods of time.

My husband defers to his standard question to me before embarking upon his in-flight movie or New York Times Bestseller read while on the throne, "Babe, do you have to go before me?"  We have one bathroom and he knows that I can be in and out before he has even had time to pack his carry on luggage for his toilet excursion.  He says he can't believe how quick I can perform that digestive task.  I can make the bed, start a load of laundry, unload the dishwasher, tidy the living room up, reload the dishwasher, make my lunch for the day and possibly pay a few bills while waiting for the bathroom to become available for my use.

That sums it up well: Toilet sitting is an excursion for men.  For women it is a quick recitation of the alphabet, a haiku or one verse of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" - over and done in a flash.

No comments:

Post a Comment