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1.29.2013

WHOOPS, GOD BLESS YOU!


No matter how old I get farting makes me giggle.  Long past my junior high years, a surprise fart from someone near me makes me smile and laugh.  Freedom Baby!
 
It is just a bodily function if you really want to break it down, much like blinking, walking, sweating, etc.  But for some reason it has gotten a bad rap.  It seems we want to categorize it to the naughty list of things we shouldn't do.  I don't know how that is.  Farting is just a natural anatomical result of the process of nature and digestion that are part of being alive as a human.  You can go as far as to say that farting means our systems are working - we are alive!!! 

Now I am not a scientist, a gastroenterologist, or a gerontologist (the study of aging and old people).  I'm just an observer. 

It appears that as we age gravity's force to pull us to the grave gets stronger.  Since we are not immortal (even though it seems that Joan Rivers is attempting to be), our bodies experience a failing of the warranty of youth.  Our skin loses its elasticity, collagen leaves us, most liquid levels like eye moisture, mouth hydration, and even vaginal lubrication diminish.  What an absolutely pleasant picture:)  Don't let youth fool you into thinking it won't happen to you.  There is no out running it ultimately, just possibly a slight delay.

Aging also brings a wasting or decrease in our muscle tone.  We lose flexibility as our muscles shorten.   If we lose the muscle tone all over the outside of our body, what must happen to the insides of us?  Which leads me to farting once again.

I don't think farting necessarily increases in volume as we age. We do though start to lose some of the muscle dexterity that controls the passage of gas. Simply put, our sphincter muscle also loses its tightness. Our old brown eye begins to droop:)

No doubt my grandma and great grandfather were living proof of my theory as they aged.  If there is both a genetic propensity and an age-related tie then I am in double trouble!!!!!!

That could be why I hear a lot of public farting from the older crowd while waiting at the pharmacy at CVS, in the waiting room at the lab, or while perusing the aisles of the supermarket.  To be honest, it doesn't bother me in the least.  I do not get offended by it.  I'm sure that well dressed older lady really doesn't want to pass gas in public.  Walking just causes them to come out.  The control of that muscle is retreating making something that might have been held in earlier in life sneak out.  Big D refers to it as puttering.  It is her contribution to the bevy of slang terms for farts. 

My grandma said, as she rose from the passenger seat of my car while farting quite loudly, "Whoops!"  It was her acknowledgement of sorts of what was very obvious.  She didn't belabor the sneak out fart exhibition, she merely owned it and scooted toward the door.

Personally I wish we could treat public farting much like we do a sneeze, God Bless You!   Why is one blessed and the other one condemned?

God Bless You, Grandma June:)

1 comment:

  1. I can relate everyone's had to deal with The Wipe Out, The Dirty Raoul, Jack the Ripper, Bye Grammy, The Bombardier, The Brown Mosquito and the Silent but Violent.

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