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2.14.2013

FOUR LANE HIGHWAYS - a salute to the small breasted gals


In a world where the media promotes curvaceous, large, surgically enhanced breasts I want to bring much needed attention to the small busted natural girls out there.  A good friend of mine dubbed my breasts "a four-lane highway".  (Yes men, girls talk about boobs all the time much like junior high girls do).  I find that terminology refreshing and embrace their smallness.  I've never had cleavage.  Running through my small rolling hills are two wide open lanes. 

Some time ago, not wanting to disappoint my ample chested comrades and to show them I could compete on their level, I decided to make some cleavage purely for their entertainment and howls.  The feat was similar to making artificial snow for a ski slope on a warm sunny day in late May.  I picked what appeared to be a shirt that would showcase this soon to be created wonder cleavage.   How though, was I going to move them across the center lanes merging into cleavage?   I thought - ah ha, gray duct tape:)   It was a process that needed an extra set of hands which were not available at that moment! 

Impossibly hard it was to maneuver running the tape around my chest while pushing my small crests across the lanes.  Oh I gave it a noble effort - multiple times.  The end result was well, not remarkable, striking or even successful.  There was not enough tape or enough boobs to merge anything despite my gallant efforts. I proceeded with my plan though it had not gone as I had hoped! I put the shirt on and pulled it down as far as possible to see the start of a rise of skin where cleavage should be.  I grabbed my cell phone and shot an up close and texted my girlfriend, "CLEAVAGE - binoculars optional"!  This was in response to her and another friend purchasing me plastic Halloween breasts for my birthday.

Large busted woman always feel pity for me and those like me.  I'm here to say, I love what I have!! In my middle forties they are still pretty grand and perky and not surgically enhanced (though that is subjective and I am comparing myself to myself at age 60, not to myself at age 25). 
 
There are many advantages to small breasts; your buttons and shirts never embarrassingly gap across your chest, if you wear words on the front of your t-shirt men never stop to read them, you can some days skip the bra altogether, exercising is much easier and less painful, there is less flesh to succumb to the effects of age induced gravity and, as someone once said, "more than a mouthful is just a waste of space anyway"!  I am all about practicality!

I salute you girls!!

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