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4.02.2013

SPILLAGE


I was in an upscale department store in another state recently.  Most of the clothes were beyond the prices I was willing to pay, barring the bathing suit bottom I was in the dressing room trying on.  The dressing rooms were befitting the caliber of the store I was in - you had to be escorted to one by an associate where your name was written on the chalkboard on the door as it was unlocked for your use. 

It was also one of those stores where, if you so desire, a professional bra fitter would accompany you into the dressing room to fit you properly for bras.  My bathing suit bottom thankfully did not need me to enlist the help of a "fitter".  I needed only to turn my ass sideways in the three mirrors to catch a glimpse of what my aging butt looked like in it.

Fortunately for me my dressing room came with entertainment - the dressing room next to me held a bra customer and the store's professional bra fitter.  Now there is nothing funnier than hearing conversation that is of a delicate nature and not being able to see those participating in it.  It's even funnier when it is being spoken a bit louder than maybe it needs to be. 

The sales lady's voice was loud and a bit nasally, "Well the best way to know if you are wearing a well fitting bra is if there is NO spillage."  I started to giggle alone in my adjoining dressing room.  Deciding this was going to be worth hearing, I sat down on the little triangular corner bench that wasn't designed for a whole butt.  "See here, there is excess spillage on the sides.  You need more coverage.  It will look smoother through your clothes."  Flesh, say flesh I said inside my head.  It's fat, it's boob flesh!  Call it what it is.  Breasts are comprised of mainly fat tissue.  Spillage.... is that the new politically correct way to say it?

I looked down at myself.  There was absolutely NO spillage of any kind. I wondered what size you had to be to really have any sort of spillage?  Was it purely size that created spillage?  Was it a combination of large size breasts and an ill-fitting bra?  Would it possible to create spillage even with small breasts if they were crammed in a too small bra (ok that one might be hard to do unless you utilized a young teen training bra!)? 

I was snapped back by their continued spillage conversation. 

Finally the customer spoke. "Well this was the best fitting bra I could find.  When you wear a G cup you just get the one that feels the best on."   Ok, did I just hear that right, a G CUP!  What exactly does a G cup look like.  Holy cow of course there would be spillage.  I'm not sure if even construction cones could contain a G cup.  I looked down at my barely A's as mentally I sang the "ABC's" to know how many letters away G was from A.

Unfortunately for me I left the dressing room before they did.  I was disappointed that I did not get to see this G cup woman and the professional bra person as I exited. 

Walking through the store I reached in my back pocket for my cell phone and realized it was missing. I bolted back to the dressing room to see if it had fallen out of my pocket when I was trying clothes on.  Who should be exiting their bra fitting session at that exact time - the bra customer and the "spillage" bra fitter!  The voice and person now came into my full vision.

Perfect timing!!  So that's what a G cup looks like. The bra fitter woman wasn't far behind in cup size.  I had to turn sideways to let them pass:)

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