If I were to empty my head onto these posts totally and unabridged [Some of you think I already do!  Sorry to disappoint you but there is much I scale back on, don't talk about, clean up a bit for the reading audience of 4 or avoid altogether because of relationships, etc...] some may scream, "Blasphemy!"  Others, I like to think anyway, would nod their head in agreement, feel a sense of freedom that I expressed something they have thought but couldn't or wouldn't say out loud and feel like they had a release! 

I have often wondered if when we get to heaven [if that is where you are placing yourself in line to get to eventually] we will think differently. Yes, I know we will but that's not what I mean exactly. Our minds no doubt will be way more focused than they are able to be while we are still operating in our 100% human body and minds.

My mind whirls constantly.  It seems to not stop readily or easily.  The range of ongoing thoughts span from engineering sorts of views regarding much of what I touch or do to God thoughts.  Some are ridiculous in the moment thoughts, reconciliation-coming-to- peace with certain things life thoughts, worries, thoughts of zenishness, missing people thoughts, saying naughty words (ok those come out much of the time!) thoughts, thinking about the next step in writing/living/working/aging, wondering about people I meet/know/have known, thinking about how to foster present-moment living to the fullest, regrets, thoughts about what people are wearing and why, trying to figure out why anything is the way it is, and yes, some red-hot passionate thoughts about Doug.

Basically my head at times is much like a suicide fountain drink:) 

Entering the bathroom of my room in the Hampton Inn in Lawrence, Kansas I closed the door behind me.  Without really fully taking in my surroundings, I pulled my pants down and sat on the toilet.  It was at that moment that I looked up.  When I looked up I was gazing into a mirror mounted on the back of the bathroom door.  There I was seated with pants down and assuming the bathroom position that we only need to experience, NOT SEE!

I laughed sitting there looking at myself on the throne.  No one looks good like that.  I don't care who you!  As I sat I wondered firstly about; who in their right mind in the development and building of this hotel thought putting a full length mirror on the BACK of the bathroom door that only housed the shower and the toilet was a GOOD IDEA!  Secondly; that I was forced to look at myself was not appreciated.  Thirdly; why really did God make our digestive systems such that we need to evacuate in such ways - couldn't have there been a less gross way.  Fourthly; I know there were several famous people who died on the toilet (Elvis to name one), but I wondered how many numbers of non-famous deaths occurred while on the throne.

Just those thoughts alone took up several minutes.  Possibly wasted minutes.

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