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6.24.2013

A SMACK AND A SWEAR


I killed a spider with my bare hand today. There was nothing close to me to kill it with.  Faced with the fact that it was a dark medium sized fast moving spider I decided, with a bit of trepidation, to use the palm of hand. If I had turned to get a napkin it would have been gone.  If it would have gotten away I would have dwelt on the fact that it was loose and could crawl on me at night.  That gave me courage to kill it bare handed.  I smacked it so hard on the ceramic tile floor my hand stung. I had to be sure it died with one smack.  It did.

Unfortunately, my husband walked into the kitchen as I was doing a sort of spider dance trying to decide what to kill it with.  He claims I was muttering while dancing back and forth split seconds before he saw me smack my palm very hard on the spider on the ceramic tile.  He couldn't stop laughing evidently at the sight of me killing it bare handed. I assured him it was just a matter of survival of the fittest and I was going to win!

Yesterday I said the words "what the hell" to a Crazy Nate's flooring salesperson.  This I assure you was only after he went to his boss to find out what kind of deal he would give us if we bought all 950 square of the last of a lot of wood flooring.  After some swagger he tried to use on us, he assured us that he could garner a better price per square foot if we bought it all instead of the 700 square feet we needed at the moment.   He stated that they wouldn't probably be able to sell the last 250 square feet of this discontinued pattern so he was sure a deal could be had.

He returned after conferring with his manager.  I had already told him what I thought the price should be dropped to for buying the remaining boxes.  After trying to convince us what great wood floor it was, that it was already a steal of deal, he dropped the approved by his manager price reduction on us - a whole whopping $.10.  That would be a whopping ten cents per square foot!  As quick as it flashed through my head it flew out, "What the hell!  [I laughed] Ten cents!"  I wasn't mad, cruel or mean.  I was though astonished at his pride in getting his manager to give us a  "whale of a deal" and then having the guts to suggest that ten cents off was a bargain. 

My husband got a kick out of both events.  He claims he was thinking the exact same words but that I said them.  He gets a big chuckle out of my transparent and blunt ways.  Throughout the rest of the day I would hear him start to giggle as he repeated my words out loud again, "what the hell!"  I asked if I was rude to that salesman.  He assured me that I wasn't rude or mean, but pointed - that I was in essence telling him that is not a deal, but laughable and insulting us really.  He claims I said without many words, in my tone to Jeff the salesman, that I didn't just fall off the turnip wagon! 

As we left the store that salesman was beyond desperate to get our business.  He said he was going to bat for us again with his manager and that he would call us.  Assured he was that he could get him to lower the price further since we were willing to buy it all.  I was not assured at all.  Mostly I felt his desperation to make a sales commission speaking ahead of real facts or truth. 

Jeff the salesman did call us several hours later.  He had a new deal to offer us - the original price and only the 700 square feet we actually needed.  His boss said they would sell the remaining 250 square feet to someone who had a very small room to re-floor.  Jeff assured us this was a great deal (how is it a great deal when I lost my original $.10 per square discount which amounted to virtually nothing!), being sold to us at cost just so they could empty it from their inventory.  We passed on that great deal from Crazy Nate's Flooring Outlet!

I think to be a really good salesperson you have to not appear to be "selling" even though you really are.  No one wants to be sold, hawked to, sales jargoned at or stand downwind of a back talker. My friend Dave is the best salesman I have ever seen.  It's like blinking to him and oxygen to the consumer.

Jeff the salesman and that spider on my kitchen floor had a bit in common - they got nowhere with me.

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