I exited the off ramp with the light green making a left hand turn on the green arrow at the peak of its green-ness.  The opposite direction off ramp had a red light.  It didn't matter though to the woman sitting at the red light who pulled out, turning right on a red light, while I was already into that lane turning left on a green arrow.

I don't do much slow, driving and accelerating included.  She obviously either didn't care that I was there or totally misjudged my fast speed through the green arrow.  Either way, she pulled out from her red light into the right lane causing me to slam on my brakes and whip over to the left lane to avoid hitting her full force.  If there would have been someone in the left lane my choice would have been to hit them to avoid her or hit her to avoid them. 

I grew up on a farm in a home where the only swear word I really ever heard was shit.  I have theories on swear words but that is for another session.  More than shit flew out of my mouth in a repeating loop till my adrenaline lowered itself after nearly missing having a major accident due to her stupid driving.

My fury was majorly heightened and compounded to infinity and beyond by all the bumper stickers on her vehicle.  I don't get bumper stickers at all.  Evidently it is imperative to you that others be subjected to your views while trapped behind you in traffic.  Why not get a Ghost Busters mega phone attached to the top of your car to tout your propaganda as well.

Besides how tacky bumper stickers look on a vehicle, I think if you can't live up to the slogans on your vehicle you shouldn't be able to have them visible to others.   I don't have an ichtus [Jesus fish] on my car because I drive like a bat out of hell.  I don't want to give Jesus a bad name.  I probably can do that at times WITHOUT a bumper sticker anyway.

Then there are bumper stickers that make no sense at all.  They cannot be figured out and must only be posted for 2 other people in the universe who get the inside story of your ambiguous bumper sticker.  If your bumper sticker cannot be understood or interpreted by the reader, then don't put it on your car. I might not care what you post on your window or bumper anyway but if I can't decipher it then it just pisses me off more!  And if you absolutely need to have a bumper sticker on your vehicle could you please please please make it humorous.  Humor removes all road rage!

This near accident causing bumper sticker woman did not hold to my train of thought obviously.  Her vehicle was the poster board for anything green, granola-ish, and hippie humanistic. 

As I nearly slammed into the rear of her vehicle this is what I read....

We are here to awaken to the separateness
of our thinking.
[I get the meaning of the phrase in the big sense, but really!
Is that the best way to get the message across.  It's like a saying on a church sign -
is that really going to get someone to walk in the door?]
Respect the earth.
[Um, yeah.  Isn't that a given.  Do you think that those that aren't will be changed
by reading it.  That they will have an epiphany while swearing at you for your bad
driving and then reading your bumper sticker that says that!  You obviously didn't respect that I was
a car in full motion.]
Peace for all species.
[..."I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company."  You'd be an idiot not to want that.  Does that
qualify for a bumper sticker - the obvious desire of most of all humanity except for
those of evil hearts.  Lady, you are preaching to the choir!]
There were actually several more bumper stickers, but after nearly causing a major accident she accelerated so fast that I had a hard time reading them all.  Maybe that was her way of acknowledging she was in the wrong.  Maybe she was awakened to the fact that to exhibit a modicum of respect for me and keep the peace between our vehicles she best high tail it out of there.  Or, she heard the profanity coming from my vehicle.
Did I say I hate bumper stickers?


  1. Mine says "CoffeeWhore"

  2. I just have a window full of stick people, nude girl mud flaps, and a decal that says I hate bumper stickers.
    That's acceptable right?

  3. Oh, and Jesus says Thank You! =D