THEY CAN'T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE TREES

There is without a doubt an art to finagling and finessing difficult and know-it-all-ish people.  Everyone has one or two in their individual spherical life.  I have several. They are irritating, taxing and exhaustive.  But, amazingly enough there is a measure of entertainment value that can be garnered from them as well.

With those difficult and know-it-all personality traits comes the inability to view self objectively, properly or even at all sometimes.  They truly are legally blind to self and their own personality.  That leaves the door wide open for a bit of play with them - some over compensated not totally sincere almost borderline condescending responses to their pompousness.  But because they have no sense of self, they also lack the intuitive sense to interpret others properly.  Instead of knowing there is a bit of passive/aggressive response in play, they view it as praise, a stroke, affirmation of their greatness. 

I think there are in fact various degrees and characteristics of narcissism.  Being a know-it-all is most assuredly a trait of some level of narcissism.  Much like a sugar coma must be a level in Candy Crush .  If not, it should be!

I make a game out of interactions with those several in my life that fit that category.  They would never know that they drive the crap right out of me.  First they wouldn't know because they are not observant about anything that isn't about themselves.  Second, I treat them overly kind and pander a bit to them.  It's like giving a screaming baby a bottle - calms them right down.

And, if those know-it-alls and difficult people can like someone because they pander to them they become a bit of putty in your hand.  It disarms them, helps them not have to plump up their peacock feathers and strut their stuff as much.  You are giving them a measure of the deep desire that causes them to act that way in the first place.  You are giving them affirmation.

It seems that all of humanity is designed to need affirmation.  Those in that know-it-all category need even more of it.  My initial response to them is disgust, irritation and the desire to have as few interactions with them as possible.  Then I realize they are a bit of a hot potato and I can play a game without them even knowing.

I baked a nail file in the cake and they haven't figured it out yet.