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11.05.2013

THE HIATUS' HIDDEN VALUE



I was absent from the world of writing for over a week.  Hiatus' are good once in awhile.  They help to set our minds back in order, rest our bodies from the monotony of routine and recharge us to return to the things we love with renewed vigor, vision and drive.  Sometimes though hiatus' (chosen and unchosen ones alike) make us miss horribly the thing(s) we are apart from.


A good friend of mine once sent me a quote that I can deeply relate to.  The author of it must have crawled into my head and heart and plucked from them the words that describe clearly missing something or someone....

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly
 walking around in the daytime and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell." ~Edna St Vincent Millay
 
On this hiatus we met a new grandson, saw kids and grand kids, parents, siblings, friends and said goodbye to one of the kids for an indefinite and undefined period of time.  Certain people's absence from our lives does leave a hole.  No matter the other good and positive things around us their silence remains loud at times.
 
What I didn't do on hiatus was write.  I missed it.  This blog, started while I was going through a divorce, very quickly became an act of discipline that I desperately needed for so many reasons.  I didn't stop writing blog posts for 100 consecutive days.  I was afraid if I stopped I would let loose of something I had wanted all my life.  So, I did not stop.  I kept writing long after the transition from marriage to divorce back to remarriage occurred.  No matter what else has been happening in my life over the past three and half years, I have kept writing - albeit with a couple of hiatus' here and there.
 
It's a bit of my personality at play as well.  I write because I have something to say that I think relates to most people deep inside.  Likewise I also keep running because I know it is good for my mind and my body.  I do both though at times with a sheer act of my will.  It is too easy to let loose of the things that are vital and important and abandon them for the now, the immediate.  That's why I double lace my shoes and log miles.  It's why after working all day I sit to think and pen 800-1000 words.
 
I have far more than this blog to write.  It has been my testing ground, my discipline training ground so to speak.  Will anyone read it?  Does anyone relate?  Do people pick up on my sarcastic ridiculous tone at times meant not to be taken too seriously?  Has anyone had a moment when the words were just what they needed to take a "hiatus" from the rough day they had?  Was there a reader out there who knew that God had talked to them through this very imperfect person's words?  Are there those who come back to see if I posted anything new today?
 
In my computer and filing cabinet are tens of thousands of words.  They are trying to make themselves into book form.  I have been a bit reticent to put some of those words in this blog.  I think I might though.  Maybe you should be my editors.  Maybe you should see if there is value in my story.  Maybe my story might make you feel a bit more free to be who you are.  So, I think I will occasionally put an excerpt, a chapter of this book in progress as a post on this blog.  
 
Hiatus' are meant to refresh not frustrate.  They are meant to tool out the realness, the authenticity and depth of value of that thing or person in our lives. 
 
n. pl. hi·a·tus·es or hiatus ... in space, time, or continuity; a break

2 comments:

  1. Let the journey begin...........

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  2. Good post. Nothing wrong with hiatus and/or putting things on the shelf for a while. Also nothing wrong with changing of one's passions. There is no rule that says a passion cannot run it's course and fall away as a passion. You may hang writing up for good some day, and that would be as acceptable as writing for the rest of your life. I congratulate you, however, on your writing this blog. It's not always easy to open up one's inner thoughts in such a public fashion. MI

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