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4.16.2014

HALF WHITE


I whiten my teeth with over the counter Crest white strips.  I do it because white is one of my primary color loves in clothes AND teeth.  I do it because I love coffee and don't want to give it up. 

My middle sister Diane has the fancy molds made especially for her teeth by the dentist.  She uses the professional get it only at the dentist strength whitener.  Her teeth are so white it's like a nuclear bomb flash.  They are beautiful which matches her other beautiful parts as well.

Crest white strips come in different potencies.  I don't know if it's just bunk, a marketing ploy to charge a bit more for the illusion of whiter, or not.  I stay with the middle of the road "whiteness" strength and price they offer to make myself think I'm not being totally duped.   Is $10 extra really going to make that big of a difference in shades of white? 

I do take a bit of umbrage with Crest, and most over the counter whitening strips.  The strips only cover about 4-6 of the bottom front teeth and about 8-10 of the upper front teeth (if you have large rabbit type teeth you may only get white coverage on 6 upper teeth!).  Adults have 32 permanent teeth.  That means Crest only whitens a maximum of half your teeth.  Seems sub par, doesn't it?  Crest must assume others can't see past the whitened front teeth to the unwhitened yellowish cast back teeth due to the brilliance of white distraction created by the front few teeth.

If you disregard their whitening instructions on the amount of time to leave them on your teeth, beware!  You will quite possibly need a putty knife to scrape them off.  And don't ever think about NOT brushing your teeth after you remove them.  The taste and goo is disgusting.  I've been tempted to let the city street sweeping machine take a swipe across my teeth to extrapolate thoroughly the whitening residue. 

The other day, in mid conversation with a client, they paused and said, "Your teeth are so white."  I laughed inside knowing it was only the front 8-10 and bottom 4-6 that were sporting whiteness.   

One of these days I will get the "real" whitening treatment from my dentist.  My back teeth are feeling neglected.

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