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5.30.2014

TALLY MARKS DON'T MAKE YOU AN AUTOMATIC WINNER


Age brings wisdom in lots of areas.  That's a good thing to help compensate for all the cuts, nicks and scraps we have gotten through the years.  Kids lack wisdom because they just have no comparative background.  It leaves them with the short stick of understanding but rich on the side of curiosity, risk, and pleasure.

We get conditioned with living.  We learn cause and effect.  We come to know probability and statistics.  We know there is a cost to failure.  Kids do not fully get any of those things and because they don't, they are big minded and open hearted.  They take risks, they push boundaries, they explore.  Their world is both small and open.

I miss that mindset as I incline with tally marks in life.  It takes deliberateness to be that way now.  I have to consciously turn and train my heart and mind to small (overly engaged in now) and open (free to think and be and explore).  Then, I have to focus to stay there for a suspended length of time before choosing to be swept back out of it.  It can at times frustrate the hell right out of me!

In my childhood I tried all kinds of things that maybe I wouldn't now.  For instance, I combined my three loves into one activity.  At 8 or 9 years old I decided that since I loved books AND riding my bike AND playing with my doll, I would connect them all together.  It was a ginormous failure, at least that method was.  That disaster really didn't dissuade me from other attempts at all.  To me, there is always a way.  Always.

In my adolescent years I picked up hitch hikers [my parents probably still don't know that]. In my young adult years I invited a few transients to dinner at my house.  I have a mad love affair with hearing the stories of others.  I find people's choices and lives very interesting.  There is a thread of good in almost everyone and I love to find it. 

Kids love big too.  They seem blind to flaws in others, free to see just the heart and keep a fairly short list of grudges. 

I can't change tally marks one iota, even with plastic surgery!  I can though play again on purpose with my mind, spirit and heart.  I may even re-try my reading/biking venture:)

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