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5.05.2014

THE LILY PAD OF ANGER


....No use being angry over what you can't change.

I liked it when I heard it so I jotted it down so as not to forget the power of that phrase.  Its poignant message resonated inside of me.  I knew it to be oh so true.  I also knew though there might be no use in the anger, it comes to sit a spell till we make amends with the unchangeables.

And there were, at differing points and seasons in my life, things that could not be changed, undone, redone, taken back, made right, vindicated, given back, recovered or expunged from where I currently sat.  No matter what I did, it was set in concrete.  Which, is what usually takes me, and probably you as well, to the anger lily pad.  We tend to hop there when, faced with nothing we can do to change a damn thing, to sit alone suspended in anger.  

Anger it seems for me anyway, keeps me isolated and circular.  It wrecks the continuity and delineation on the line of my life.  It sucks movement forward right out of the picture.  I do it anyway at times though I know in my head the result - a dead end, a still unmoving unchangeable now coupled with anger.  Now I was frustrated with the unchangeable and the fact that my anger consumed my mind, spirit and emotions.


It can be hard to live with things that fit into the unchangeable category.  They are uncatalogable.  It's a never ending repeating song - anger over what we can't change.  I both loathe that song and yet don't always want to take it off repeat.  I don't always choose or want to trust that what I cannot change might be there for a purpose.  That possibly I need to learn, and re-learn and re-learn again the soul changing enigma of focusing on what I can affect not what I seemingly cannot. 

I had a list of them.  I suspect you might too.  I wondered just how much time I had collectively wasted on anger over things I could not change over the course of my lifetime. 

Those things are like the pins in a pinball machine.  I am the pinball.  Maybe I need them to gain the skill of letting go, of focusing my energy comparatively against them on what is good, changeable and moldable.  In that context, unchangeable things do hold the power to change - me.
 

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