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10.02.2014

THAT SPACE OF CRUSHING


dedicated to:hmg and unnamed others....


Life is definitely not always what our mind has thought or our heart has longed for it to be.  It sporadically leaves us straddling our expectations with events of our present reality. When handed things that no one would ever want, it sends us reeling.  We lose our footing for a time.  It can be a heavy season.  For a time, anyway.

Whether you hold fast to a belief and experience in God or not, we were created not as eternal perfect beings. We were hardwired by the Creator of the universe Himself to feel and choose.  With feeling and choosing come some deep waters.  Those deep waters result in a trip to the reactionary backside of feeling and choosing. Those two conduits hold us in a paralyzed say "Uncle" purgatory for a spell.  Our synapses are bombarded with pain and seemingly no choice. That is, until our feelings can stop reacting and reacting and reacting.  Then we can start choosing how to react to what we feel and also to what we have been dealt.  There is definitely a do-si-do that occurs.

I do so want to punch the shit right out of those that fling clichés like chicken feed.  Though clichés may hold truth, to remotely hear them at all we have to wrestle with our emotions after first letting them flood every cell.  God wired us to feel.  It's a great gift meant to drive us to love others and God deeper through choice. 

I cannot imagine, in order to escape from ever feeling pain or disappointment, that I would conversely never get to experience deep pleasure, love, or contentment.  To not feel disappointment, loss, or hurt, letting it run its course through our hearts/minds/spirits, is to deny the very system that God placed in us.  He knows how He made us - with hearts to hurt and love. 

There are those that tout mistruths.  Denial of pain and only hope.  It diminishes the sheer fact that hope is a feather that takes us where we cannot go alone.  You can have pain and hope.  That's how it is designed.  It holds the pain to a point that it doesn't completely destroy us.  Though at times we feel it might.

God lets the world we live in touch us.  It's not cruel. He's not absent letting chaos ensue. He doesn't afflict us with pain but rather allows that system of choice to continue.  It's not that He can't change poverty, oppression, pain or disease. It's actually through the backdrop of that very broken system that God uses to show us hope cast against despair.  Love against hate.  Peace against turmoil.  Grace against human-ness.  

He provides a way in it for us to have a win.  That win is not the world's win as wins are defined in the world system.  Rather, it comes through a presence of contrast to those things happening that we didn't choose - to a world that creates pain and dashed expectations.  We feel and then we have a choice - hope, love, peace, and grace.  They are the way out of the deep waters of straddling dashed expectations, unmet longings, deep heart desires and our present reality.   

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