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10.07.2014

WATCH THE JUNK


Simply and strongly stated, baseball games are too long.  I'll start there and digress.

My first husband was a high school and college baseball player.  He was also a Cubs fan.  I spent 26 years, including my honeymoon, either watching baseball on TV or going to major league games.  Lest you think my dislike of the game comes from not being married to him any more, you would be sorely wrong.  I also greatly disliked it for 26 years when I was married to him.

How could anyone dislike baseball?  Baseball is American.  Then, I am a baseball dissident.  Did I mention that baseball games last way too long. 

I once sat through a rain delay at Wrigley Field for 2 hours before they called the game.  Another time, at Wrigley Field again, the game went into extra innings.  At inning 16, when I thought I was about to lose my mind from spending more time in that ballpark in that seat than an average day at work, I had enough and left.  The sound of slowness was like fingernails on a chalkboard!

I don't do well sitting for indeterminate amounts of time, let alone for hours at a time, while watching the slowest game play on the planet.  If the sheer length of the game isn't enough to make you hate the sport as a whole, then the slowness of how it is played is.  Baseball has some learning disabilities, exhibits a type of low sports IQ and is like always driving in the slow lane.  Let's play for a bit, and then move on to have part of the day left!

To keep myself occupied for 26 years I had a running commentary about the game...  Baseball players have to be the most out of shape athletes compared to other professional sports.  There is no definitive lean muscle mass, large muscle mass or even overly lean players as a norm.  Their body types are not overly sculpted [the result of  far less intensive training as compared to other sports along with less demanding game play].  And, the catcher's hand-in front-of-crotch signals to the pitcher just make me giggle.  Strange.  Quirky.  At least it occupies part of the mind numbing ness of this!

To top off my reasons for disliking the game of baseball we can add how they determine the winner of both league's play - the World Series.  The series winner is garnered by taking the best out of 7 games.  That means, whoever wins 4 games first, wins - series over.  To be honest, that was my silent prayer every year for 26 years when the World Series started every October.  [Please God make one team win 4 straight to get this over and done with faster!]. It seemed God never consistently answered my very selfish prayer to my liking.

I would like to say that best out of 7 play is specific to the World Series of baseball, but it's not.  The NBA, the NHL and MLB share this extended play same team to same team best of 7 to win scenario.  The NFL and FIFA [My son-in-law a soccer player, coach, and huge fan will scold me for painting soccer in such broad terms and will correct me for it!] employ playoff brackets and special exception sorts of play to whittle down to a single game winner.  It's an i before e except after C sort of thing.

A regular 9 inning major league baseball game typically lasts 3.5 hours or more [not counting extra innings!] as compared to 2-2.5 hours each for a national football league or national basketball association game.  That is why there is a push in MLB to find a way to shorten the game time.  Ideas range from enforcing the pitcher 12 second rule to eliminating 2 innings and everything in between.

It's far too late for me to ever like baseball, even if they shorten the length of games. 

And, though my grandmother was a great organ player [pedals blazing, stops pushed and pulled while "Gentle Shepherd" rang out], I still cannot understand the use of the organ at MLB games.  It would seem that the organ [though in great decline in church music] has its roots in sports - baseball games and roller skating rinks. 

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